


Don't say it out loud

by Modlisznik



Category: The Technomancer (Video Game)
Genre: Abundance is a worst place to be, Angst, Angst and Humor, Awkward Flirting, Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, Drinking, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Interrogation, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mother Abundance loves her children, Suicidal Thoughts, Viktor is a manipulative bastard, Zach fucks up his Pacifist run, a lot of drinking, all during one night
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-03-31 20:32:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13982817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Modlisznik/pseuds/Modlisznik
Summary: David Ward didn't ask for any of this. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one who wanted to drink himself away that night. As a result, he found himself in a company of Mancer with clearly malfunctioning self-preservation instinct.





	1. The train

There were a lot of things David expected to find at The Curiosity's at this relatively early hour. He expected some people to be drunk already. He expected music to be too loud for his taste, a low whirr of drums unnervingly resembling the sound of gunfire. He expected the bartender to know already what he was going to drink for the rest of the day - the strongest of the cheapest ones on the menu.  
  
He sure as hell didn't expect this.  
  
\- Dave!  
  
Fuck. He just ordered that drink.  
  
\- Lieutenant. What a surprise.  
  
His lieutenant took a sit on a stool right next to him, and the brief moment of hope, that he was just passing by, died. David sighed.  
  
\- I had a feeling that I will find you here. - Mancer sounded happy, for whatever reason.  
  
\- You told us that we can take a day off, sir. Changed your mind so quickly?  
  
\- You are still off duty, soldier. Relax. What are you drinking?  
  
He looked straight at him, despite Dave's great effort to seem as uninterested and unwelcoming as possible. The bastard was even smiling a little.  
  
\- Whatever I can buy, sir. - He gulped his drink; whatever was inside, it burned his throat and nose just fine. - One can't be picky.  
  
\- Can I buy you a drink then?  
  
David snorted and finally looked at him. Douchebag was still smiling. Ah, to hell with it.  
  
\- Sure. Why not. You don't get to drink away an officer's pay every day.  
  
He seemed surprised.  
  
\- Officer's pay?  
  
\- Serum. Money. Cash. Whatever you call it.  
  
Here it is - his commander's favourite expression, the Deep Frown of Disapproval. The one that was making David feel like he reproves his face, his career choice and his whole family to the fifth generation back.  
  
 _Shadow help me, I'm gonna punch him._  
  
But then the bartender floated near, professionally not hearing anything except for the fact that he has another customer.  
  
\- Hello, mister Mancer! What can I get you for?  
  
\- That's an excellent question. Let's face it together, shall we? - Mancer finally turned away from David and towards the bartender. - What usually do you serve people who are feeling like the biggest mistake they ever made was to not jump under the train that had left the station about... - he glanced at the bartender's wristwatch - an hour ago?  
  
\- Vodka. - Barman didn't even bat an eye.  
  
\- Not enough. I need something that tastes like regret.  
  
\- Palenka.  
  
\- Better. Do you, by any chance, have some śliwowica?  
  
\- By any chance I do, if you are willing to make my day very happy and full of serum.  
  
\- I am. For the grumpy man here and for me, please. That's fine for you, Dave?  
  
David blinked. This stuff was worth a shitton of money. As well as all the things that were made of actual fruit, not of old socks and the window cleaner, like the things he was usually drinking.  
  
\- Yeah, sure.  
  
\- Come then, let's sit somewhere.  
  
Moments later David found himself sitting by one of the tables for two in the far end of the pub. No one was near at the moment; people usually didn't hang around the way leading to the Arena unless they had some business to do there. It seems tonight's fights were already arranged.  
  
Lieutenant sat vis-a-vis, absent-mindedly tapping some rhythm with his fingertips. David cleared his throat.  
  
 _What I'm even going to talk with him about?_  
  
\- So... a rough day, hmm?  
  
\- In some ways, yes. - Mancer smiled again. - But quite good in others. I didn't expect to meet you here.  
  
\- You just said something exactly opposite, like, two minutes ago.  
  
\- I lied. I have no idea how to start a conversation.  
  
Bastard, he thought, but chuckled nonetheless.  
  
\- You should just offer me a drink from the start. It usually works.  
  
\- Then I shall remember that.  
  
The waitress came, a blonde girl with an undercut and a lot of little glistening piercings in her ears. Barely looking at them, she put on the table two shot glasses made of fine crystal and a bottle. And some meat and pickles, as apparently this liquor came together with appetizers.  
  
\- Shall we? - asked Mancer, already opening the bottle. - Vashe zdorovye!  
  
\- Zdarovye! - he replied and gulped.  
  
And he lost his breath; the liquor was too strong to taste - it just burned like molten metal, bringing tears to his eyes.  
  
\- Fuck... - he gasped, blinking intensely. - Fucking hell.  
  
\- Right?  
  
The warmth already settled deep in his stomach and started to spread to his whole body.  
  
\- I must say, that's a money well spent. It must be nice to take your paycheck.  
  
\- Oh, I don't get paid.  
  
David frowned. What's he talking about?  
  
\- Don't give me shit... sir - he added because his officer probably wasn't drunk enough yet to let it slide. - I've seen you collecting serum from Ryan.  
  
\- That wasn't for me. It is your money, Jeffrey's and yours. - He must have seen the confusion on Dave's face because he explained further. - It is expected of me to ensure your combat capability. It includes taking care of your health and your shitty, basic gear. And this requires money.  
  
\- So we're just...  
  
\- ...drinking your future armour away.  
  
\- Huh. Then I guess, the next time I'll just rush on to the enemy in my sweatshirt.  
  
\- You could shield me with your bare chest; it seems broad enough.  
  
 _Is he... hitting on me? No way._  
  
The bastard was grinning. But Dave's brain already gave the command "Change the topic, quick!".  
  
\- So you're what, serving for free now?  
  
\- No, it's not like that. My own soldier's pay is transferred directly to my Order; for the students, the elders, the ones incapable to serve anymore. You see, the process of becoming a technomancer is hard and time-consuming; it takes twelve, fourteen years, highly qualified teachers, equipment, sometimes a couple of medical procedures. And half of this time you're spending under a direct supervision of your Master, who is relieved of their army duties for that time. Each one of us is a huge investment of Abundance. But then there is the time to pay it back.  
  
\- Huh.  
  
He didn't know what to say. He didn't even want to know about all of this; he wasn't sure how much of this was actually commonly known - he never bothered to ask - and how much belonged to topics that you simply don't talk about. As far as he was concerned, all the stuff involving technomancers was labelled as "stay the fuck away". As soon as they realize - or just start to suspect - that you know something, anything, about their business, they start acting as if you just ransacked their closets and interrogated their grandmas. One false step and all of the sudden the Mancers are angry at you, the Army is angry at you, the Douser disapproves of your whole existence and you find yourself in the nearest train heading the absolute end of civilization. Or just a re-education camp.  
  
He tried to live by the words "the less you know, the easier you sleep". And by Shadow, he had enough things weighing down his sleep already.  
  
Besides that, talking this way was dangerously close to complaining. And good citizens of Ophir don't complain - what would they for? Mother Abundance protects her people, cares for them and guides them to a better future. We all must endure some hardships on the way to victory. Do you think you know what's best for our homeland better than the Douser himself? Are you suggesting that our Douser is wrong? I'm sure the ASC will love to hear about it...  
  
David glanced around furtively, but nobody was near; still, that doesn't mean that nobody was listening.  
  
\- It's only fair - he said, so there will be no doubts that he wholly approves of everything Abundance is doing with her people.  
  
\- It's for the better, I think. - Mancer replied and Dave winced inside at this hint of questioning the corporate policy. - What would we even use our own money for? - He chuckled. - At least we won't be tempted to...  
  
 _Don't say "to run away", you idiot!_  
  
\- ...to buy over all the books for ourselves.  
  
David breathed a small sigh of relief, trying not to think about where the thought of escaping from Abundance even came from. Why does he even care what's happening to the damn Mancers? That's not his problem.  
  
He reached for the bottle.  
  
\- What do they even make it of?  
  
\- Plums. - There was some round, purple fruit depicted on the label. David was aware of its existence but never saw one. - According to the label, ones harvested near the city of Łąck, wherever the fuck was that. But I hope not, as it would mean that we are drinking a true pre-Turmoil relic, committing the act of ultimate selfishness... and of sacrilege, according to my brethren from Aurora.  
  
David immediately put it away.  
  
\- You're just fucking with me.  
  
\- Not right now, no.  
  
This damn smirk again. _Fucker_.  
  
\- So, if we already condemned our souls or whatever... Another round?  
  
\- Sure.  
  
He poured the liquor. They made a toast. They gulped.  
  
This time he was prepared, but the alcohol brought tears to his eves nonetheless. But it was worth it, as The Curiosity's interior started to feel warm and cosy and his companion - slightly less irritating.  
  
\- Have to say, nice work there, with corporal Tyron and his boys. - He said, resting comfortably on his chair. - I was kinda expecting you to just jump in there and zap everything that moves.  
  
\- Oh, so you take it back then? - Mancer titled his head.  
  
\- Take back what?  
  
\- You called me a newb.  
  
 _Shit_.  
  
\- Not yet. - He grinned. - Still a nice work tho.  
  
\- That's fair. - Mancer nodded. - Besides, I didn't finish yet. Scott should procure some antidote soon. That they didn't have it ready at the first place is beyond me…  
  
\- Probably that's just part of the tests. - He interrupted before this topic could evolve into a rant. _Shut up, man, stop saying such things out loud!_  
  
The drawback was that his lieutenant became silent, watching the table as if there was something very interesting in all that cigarette butts, stains and crumbs. It lasted a while.  
  
\- So, why are you here? - David asked, tired of waiting for his companion to speak up. - Did something happen to all those fancy folk's establishments at the Exchange? Some locust infestation, that drove all of you to the Slums? Or it's just that thing with leopard and his spots? - He couldn't help himself, but by coming here Mancer was practically asking for it, really.  
  
\- It's... I don't know. Sometimes you just... I love my brethren, I really do, but there are times when I just can't stand them.  
  
 _Oh hell no._ He wasn't even nearly drunk enough to handle his superior officer crying on his shoulder.  
  
\- You sure as hell won't meet them here. As well as Jeff; wonder if he's even old enough to drink?  
  
He felt a slight sting of remorse for dragging the Rookie into this, but well, he really hasn't seen him here. Still, that was a low-quality bait and he wasn't surprised that Mancer ignored it.  
  
\- I'm so fucking tired. - Mancer ran his finger through his hair and stayed that way, eyes fixed on the crystal shot glass. - The week has barely started and I'm done.  
  
\- Know the feeling, man.  
  
\- I'm doing everything as I've always done; I eat, I sleep, I meditate, work out, follow orders. I'm keeping myself busy every fucking waking minute. But the moment I lose my focus, even for a second, all of this falls apart. It's just... a noise.  
  
David fought off the urge to just pat his lieutenant on the shoulder. He knew that feeling far too well. He knew the noise far too well; ever since he came back from the front. There were days when even drinking wasn't helping, leaving him angry and exhausted and so very, very empty.  
  
 _Poor bastard._  
  
\- I'm exhausted - Mancer resumed, starting to tap on the table again. Blue sparks danced around his fingertips, but he seemed to pay no attention. - I was at the Chapel tonight but didn't come in. I couldn't stand the way they look at me. Their compassion makes me want to scream and break things. - He paused and bit his lip and David realised with horror, that his companion is trying to hold off tears. - I will never see him again. - It was barely a whisper.  
  
The train.  
  
 _Oh no. Shut up, please. Don't make me feel for you._  
  
\- People are coming back from the war, you know. - He replied. They sure do; not always whole, never the same, but they do. Most of them. - I did.  
  
Zachariah tried to smile, but it was even worse.  
  
\- I would do everything... anything... to make him come back. But we will never see each other again. That's just how things are.  
  
\- That's... tough.  
  
What was he even supposed to say? "I'm sure there's a reason for this?" He wasn't dickish enough, and as for the reason - it seemed pretty clear.  
  
Funny how their corporation managed to fuck them all over, each one in a different way.  
  
\- You know, Zachariah, there's a reason soldiers are coming to the places like this. Let's drink. - He poured two shots. - To the ones that we will never see again.  
  
 _To you, Boris, wherever the fuck you are. Stay safe there._  
  
Mancer nodded and gulped his drink. And then, in one swift movement, he shattered his glass on the floor. David flinched; he wasn't a fan of such dramatic gestures, but to hell with it. May everyone mourns in their own way.  
  
For a while there was silence; Zachariah seemed to be engrossed in his thoughts and David was trying very hard to not think at all. The liquor was helping; images, which usually returned to him when he let himself think about - remember - bring back memories, were all dull and distant; toothless. They couldn't hurt him now.  
  
 _Where are you, asshole?_  
  
He wasn't surprised when captain Eliza gave them the order to hunt down Boris; not really. He had served long enough to know that Mother Abundance was never above putting her children to such tests of loyalty. Some part of him actually expected this all along; no matter the circumstances, life always seemed to find a way to create a worst possible scenario and hit with it Dave right in the face. So, when Boris had decided to go, and he had decided to stay, it was basically a sentence.  
  
Still, seeing him like that, panicked, desperate, ready to fight a fuckin' technomancer for his freedom - it hurt.  
  
But then Mancer surprised him. Not by letting Boris go - that was the only thing that even a barely decent man would do -  
  
 _what if not what would you do would you just crack his skull with your wrench would you stay and watch_  
  
\- but by lying for him. It would be easy to just frame it off like a failed mission - "unfortunately, they had already left Ophir, ma'am, there was nothing I could do"; just wash your hands and let the ASC unleash their dogs; a delayed murder. A little stain in the service record; not like it would mean anything to a Mancer. But Zachariah lied, said "they're dead, ma'am, problem solved." It could buy Boris enough time to run and disappear. If the Army ever find out… they're screwed, all of them. There's the incompetence and there's the treason. Hazardous move. Brave one.  
  
Suddenly the Mancer laughed, interrupting his train of thought.  
  
\- Forgive me, Dave. - He shook his head. - You didn't come here for this. Thank you for being so patient with me.  
  
\- Come on, it's nothing. - _And stop being so goddamn friendly!_ \- We've all been there.  
  
\- But enough of this for today. Let's talk about something nice for a change.


	2. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Powered by the śliwowica, things are escalating, until they aren't. David finds himself in an uncharted territory - enjoying the company of a damn Mancer. He is also surrounded by Rogues, apparently.

\- Let's talk about something nice for a change.  
  
And they did it quite well, the liquor helping them relax and just joke around a little. After some time the same waitress came to bring them another glass and more appetizers; despite the hour and an usual crowd of drunken people, no one tried to bother them. The sight of the Mancer's uniform seemed to keep everyone away.  
  
 _Handy. I could just carry him around as a shield and people would just fuck off._  
  
But before he could share this ingenious idea with Zachariah - as a joke, of course, just to see his face, this eyes going wide - somebody put his theory to a test.  
  
\- Hello, boys... Looking for some good time?  
  
He had seen worse workers in here. This girl didn't look sick or drugged out of her mind; as far as the dim light revealed, she was even wearing clean clothes. But then, he hasn't come here for this. This time, at least.  
  
\- Not today. - He smiled.  
  
\- Oww... Too bad, big boy. But your friend did, I can tell...  
  
\- I really didn't.  
  
\- No need to pretend, sir, we're all seeking a little fun here. - She leaned over the table, her mouth near the Mancer's ear. - Don't worry, sugar, I've been with your kind before... I could show you things you've never imagined.  
  
\- I'm not sure I want to test my imagination this way  - Zachariah looked at her with amusement. - Could you just leave me, please?  
  
\- Oh, come on, no need to be so shy…  
  
Just as David began to wonder, if he should step up and save the Mancer in distress, she suddenly stopped with a hiss of pain. He frowned, seeing as the girl tried to move away, but Mancer apparently held her in place.  
  
\- You're a brave one, I give you that. - He said, a crooked smile on his face. - But my pocket is the last place you want to put your hand into, girl.  
  
\- I don't... Au!  
  
\- Next time I'll break it. Now go.  
  
Dave watched with raised eyebrows, as girl yanked her hand from Mancer's grasp and left with an angry clatter of heels.  
  
\- Can't believe she tried to pull off this shit on me. - Zach followed her with his eyes. - Who does she think I am?  
  
Dave just shook his head.  
  
\- You see, Zachariah? That's what you get for ordering the priciest fucking drink on the menu.  
  
\- The bravest bitch around?  
  
\- Or the most experienced one! The special task force hooker. The... uber-hoe. - He chuckled. - You should see the look on your face.  
  
\- You think they drew the straws or something? To find out which one's going to have talked to us?  
  
He laughed again.  
  
\- Come on, don't be so dramatic. You don't look half that bad!  
  
\- Nah, not even half as good as you.  
  
 _He is hitting on me. How did this happen?_  
  
But his hazy brain had trouble coming up with some new topic to change to.  
  
 _It feels kinda nice,_ tho _._  
  
\- So... you don't like girls.  
  
He wanted to punch himself in the face. Repeatedly.  
  
\- Eee... no. I mean, I do like them. Why wouldn't I? - His remark seemed to make Zachariah equally embarrassed, what somehow made the whole situation even worse.  
  
\- Not the paid ones then.  
  
\- Not the... ones with an interest in "my kind". - _There it is, The Frown._ \- It's a strangely common fetish, you know? To fuck a technomancer.  
  
 _Do we really have to talk about it right now?_  
  
But Zachariah was merciless. Or just wasn't paid attention.  
  
\- Not that long ago I've heard some soldiers wondering if having sex with one of us feels like sticking your dick into a high voltage box. For fuck's sake, people. If that was the case, we would all die out already. You just have to take it easy.  
  
\- And you'll not get hurt? - It was like irritating an aching tooth; he just couldn't help himself.  
  
\- Well, unless that's what you're into... - He glanced at him with a mischievous smirk on his lips and David found himself just staring at him for a moment. But the bastard didn't look away.  
  
\- Are you hitting on me?  
  
\- Do you want me to? - Still maintaining the eye contact, Zachariah rests his head on his hand.  
  
 _Yes? Shadow help me._  
  
\- Not what I came here for… but sure, go on. I'm kinda flattered, really.  
  
\- Oh?  
  
\- I mean, I'm just a simple grunt, haven't really been picked up by my commanding officer before...  
  
\- They missed all the fun then.  
  
\- You think it's all the fun you can have with me? - He replied smoothly, feeling as if he's observing himself with squinted eyes. He wasn't sure he knew the David that was apparently trying to get lucky this night - and with whom! - but… this David was a courageous one. And he liked to feel courage. - I hope not, seeing the way you've stared at me all evening.  
  
\- I did? - That smirk again. - Can't help myself, I think. I could just bite these shoulders.  
  
\- Oh - he murmured - you will, promise' you that.  
  
Zach froze; Dave heard him inhale, his nostrils flared, eyes wide open, a flash of teeth between his lips.  
  
 _Shit. Too much?_  
  
\- You can't just talk to me like this. - Zach replied slowly, but there was an excitement in his eyes. - Rooms for hours are filthy, and I'd hate to mess up all the lighting here.  
  
\- So, it's the only risk I must be ready for? Property damage? - Dave leaned over the table. - Doesn't seem much.  
  
Zach chuckled but seemed tense.  
  
\- I think it would be wise… - _Are we wise right now?_ \- ...for us to not take such risk right now… Not when I'm like this. - He made some vague gesture.  
  
\- When you're not bein' pretentious jerk?  
  
\- Drunk, you smartass. Not when I'm drunk. I could hurt you.  
  
 _Don't try to play hard to get now._  
  
\- Come on, man. I'm not made of glass, you know.  
  
\- I really hate to be the responsible one, Dave, but you're a fragile thing. - David was already drawing a breath, ready for protesting this lack of respect for his physical capabilities, but Zach didn't let himself be interrupted. -  Tonight… just let me dream. We're gonna figure it out later, hmm?  
  
\- Not sure if I'll still like you later. - It was a bit blunt, perhaps, but well, it was true. He couldn't vouch for the tomorrow, sober David.  
  
\- Then even better if we didn't do anything that would make things weird, right?  
  
\- Fair enough, I guess.  
  
Dave exhaled; he wasn't aware he was holding his breath for so long. _Holy shit. What just happened?_ He glanced at the other man, unsure of what to say.  
  
\- Besides... - Fortunately, Zach was a little quicker with his words - ...I'm not gonna blow you on our first date. - He laughed. - I have some standards.  
  
\- That's fair. - Dave laughed too, but nodded, trying to keep his face serious, as if it was a thing he's hearing from his commanding officers every day. - I mean, yeah, standards. Gotta keep 'em.  
  
\- Yea, I was raised better than that.  
  
\- Me too. Absolutely.  
  
\- Right.  
  
It was a tactical retreat, he knew that, and Zach most likely knew that too, but, huh, thanks Shadow for that. Things probably escalated quicker than both of them thought they will.  
  
 _Was it mean something?_  
  
The silence that fell afterwards was a little awkward; an expected outcome, seeing as both of them probably were trying to regain some dignity after revealing too many cards.  
  
Whatever it was between them, they gonna deal with it later, right? While sober. Or not, should they both decide. Dave's only hope was - and it was a thought that sneaked up to him right now - that nobody heard them talking. "Nobody" didn't mean the Watchers, really. ASC szpicels didn't hang out at The Curiosity's, as far as he knew; there were some rumours (almost urban legends, depending on the one telling them) about some deal between the Colonel and Anton Rogue, which made this pub a watcher-free zone. Dave found it easy to believe - you can have the Douser in your pocket, half of the brass on your leash, Mancers wincing at the sound of your name, but here, in the belly of the city, only one person had the power to make the rules. And if Anton didn't want the Colonel's rats sniffing in his favourite drinking place, then a place free of rats it shall be. That's how things were working in the Slums: Dousers come and go, politics change, there's nothing you can do about it - but the Vory remains.  
  
Still, you can't be sure of the other customers here; who knows when somebody will try - or will have to - make a bargain with the devil. Fear of being watched was hard to subdue.  
  
He shifted on his chair, and the scraping noise it made caused Zach to flinch. Dave noticed something glistening in Zach's hand, a narrow strip of silver, a round glass reflecting neon lights around them. He narrowed his eyes; he had seen this thing before.  
  
Then it hit him.  
  
\- Motherfucker… - Dave inhaled through his teeth.  
  
It was the bartender's wristwatch. Zach was fiddling with it, obviously pleased with himself.  
  
 _I'm surrounded by fuckin' Rogues. Figures._  
  
\- How? - David asked, not sure if he's more impressed or amused. - You sneaky asshole, you were there for like ten seconds.  
  
\- They never look at my hands. - There was a smug smile on Zach's face. - Now that I'm a mancer, even less than before.  
  
\- Well, they should fucking start to, it seems. - He shook his head. Thank Shadow for the liquor; without that how he could even deal with the madness happening around him this night?  
  
\- Relax, I'll give it back. - Assured Zach. - Ideally, without him noticing.  
  
\- I'm guessing he did notice already he's missing his damn watch, Zachariah. But knowing you, you'll just go straight to him and apologize nicely for the inconvenience.  
  
\- Nah…I'm not feeling like a good citizen today.  I'll just drop it in some asshole's pocket, let the folk here have some fun.  
  
\- Remind me to never be mean to you… from now on. - Dave corrected himself, seeing Zach's crooked smile.  
  
\- Yeah, well, let's hope it will not come to that, it'd be a clumsy work. I just don't want to get rusty. - Zach shrugged. - Just a quick dip, returned before one can notice. Where's the harm in that?  
  
\- Don't ask me, I have no shit worth stealin'... But you sure know this already, mister Mancer.  
  
Mister Mancer just tilted his head, still smiling.  
  
\- Think you're the grandest prize in our Barracks, Dave?  
  
\- Wait, did you… - He squinted. - Did you try this shit with captain Eliza?  
  
\- I'm not telling you. - Zach shook his head, trying to not look him in the eyes, but the grin he cracked was telling enough.  
  
\- You did! You little fucker… Wow. - He whistled. - You're not dead yet, so I take she didn't notice shit. - He leaned over the table. - What did ya snatch from her?  
  
Zach also leaned over, so they were almost touching their foreheads together.  
  
\- She's carrying a lipstick in her pocket. - He whispered as if sharing some highly classified intel. - A red one. Classy.  
  
\- Damn... Our captain's getting some. - Dave nodded.  
  
\- There's some lucky bastard out there.  
  
\- Think she's wearing stilettos for him? Or just stepping on him with these combat boots?  
  
\- Don't know, man... she could step on me anytime, and I'd thank her.  
  
\- Me too, brother, me too.  
  
And then they looked each other in the eyes and burst with laughter, and the tension was finally gone.  
  
\- Ok, gonna give it back, wish me luck. - Zach slipped the watch into his pocket. - Besides, I need to piss. Where's the…  
  
\- Upstairs, the last door on the right.  
  
Zachariah stood up and after a brief fight with the gravitation, left. As for the amount of brandy they had tonight, bastard kept himself surprisingly well. David decided to not test his own balance just yet.  
  
Instead for a while he tried to listen closely to the buzz of noises coming from the front of the bar… nothing particularly alarming tho. No shouting louder than usual, no gunfire… seems things went down pretty civil. He wasn't sure what he'd do otherwise - hell, who is he trying to convince, he'd run right there, not knowing if it's the right cause but full of good intentions anyway and ready for some ass-kicking. He liked to feel brave.  
  
But the time was passing, and Mancer wasn't coming back. Did he just fell asleep somewhere? Or there is yet another damn Mancer somewhere here and they just bumped into each other? Everything's possible at The Curiosity's tonight, it seems. Even him flirting with a fucking technomancer.  
  
It's just alcohol talking, he assumed, trying to wrap his a bit dizzy head around what's happened. Still, he had to tell, all this evening, that Rogue fuckery included, was the most fun he had since… since he came back, probably. Over half a year now. Sure, they had tried to have a good time together, Boris and he and his squadmates who returned to Ophir with them, but sooner or later every meeting just have turned out to be another of these evenings when everyone is looking at their own glass, and finally somebody starts to cry and says something like "You remember that guy…" and suddenly the whole bar is full of dead people and you're just suffocating and have to get out and…  
  
Dave soon stopped coming.  
  
Now, sitting with Zach like that, joking, laughing, he was feeling… maybe not alive, not yet, but at least not hollow. And this, looking back at his whole life five years in the past, was a huge fucking deal. This was an improvement. A… possibility?  
  
 _It's not like he really thinks I'm attractive… right?_  
  
He almost jumped seeing Zach's hand, waving in front of his nose.  
  
\- You sleepin'?  
  
\- Finally! You got lost or what?  
  
\- I kinda did. - He chuckled. - Did you miss me?  
  
\- How on Shadow did you do that.  
  
\- It's my superpower. I can get lost everywhere, Dave.  
  
David began to shake his head, but then he noticed that Zach was speaking seriously.  
  
\- That's… no, you kiddin' me. This can't be a thing.  
  
\- Seriously, I mean it. I have no sense of direction. I have to keep close to a wall or I'll get lost in our Barracks. - He smiled endearingly and threw his hands up. - And then I turn around and abracadabra, where the fuck am I?  
  
\- So it was you! - He pointed finger at Zach, laughing. - And I always thought you just don't like being followed! All the completely fucked up routes…  
  
\- I'm just counting the corners, ok? But then one of you fuckers says something and I'm fucking lost again!  
  
\- How did they even made you an officer?  
  
\- I'm not a damn cartographer, ok? I'm doing just fine during combat, so fuck off kindly. I've had an accident. - He pointed at the scars on his temple and face. - Building collapsed. I lost some stuff. The Seekers worked their asses off so I can move the right side of my face.  
  
\- Shit, didn't know that. Sorry.  
  
\- Nah, no problem.  
  
\- But listen, the next time… - Dave leaned over the table, like if he was going to engage in some conspiracy - ...just let me guide you, ok? I know this city no worse than you. Hell, probably better.  
  
Zach looked at him, surprised.  
  
\- Would you do that?  
  
 _He probably wouldn't tell me that if he wasn't drunk. He wouldn't trust me enough._  
  
 _What I'm getting myself into?_  
  
Still, it's not like Dave needed to get drunk to be a decent person.  
  
\- Sure. Not a problem.  
  
\- It's… kind of you, Dave. Thanks.  
  
And then he smiled, with this small, shy smile that makes him looks almost vulnerable, and Dave couldn't help but smile too.  
  
\- Yeah, I bet this will shorten our work routes about a half.  
  
\- It'd be safer that way, I guess… Still no idea how we survived that Underworks trip. Never again.  
  
\- They'd send some rescue mission for you, mister Mancer, don't worry; you're too pretty to die in the tunnels. But when… that's another matter.  
  
\- We would have to eat someone of us.  
  
\- We would sure have to.  
  
Thank Shadow for them being able to joke around; Dave wasn't sure how Zach was handling these things - he seemed to be more used to speaking his mind freely, lucky bastard, lucky Mancers and their bunker-like, spy-proof Chapel - but he himself was feeling strangely lightheaded. Not because of the alcohol coursing through his veins, but because he was talking with someone who just says personal things out loud as if he's not afraid you'll put it forward, as if it's just a natural thing to do, as if he trusts you, as if you were worthy of trust...  
  
 _I am, you're goddamn right, I AM worthy of trust._  
  
Boris said one time that people of Abundance can't handle honesty anymore. Not since this ASC fuckery started, since people started to disappear, since Merchants at the Exchange lowered their voices to whisper, and then fell silent. The news, the posters, the ever-growing list of things you should and shouldn't say to anyone, even your close family, especially your close family - all that made people unable to handle honesty. Unequipped. That's why Boris insisted - more like encouraged, really, there was nothing forceful about Boris, strange thing in a man of his profession - on his soldiers speaking their minds. Even if no one else wanted to hear them, he did. When everyone else was full of bullshit, he remained truthful. Honest. Dependable.  
  
 _How that ended up for you, friend?_  
  
But there was the way of doing things among Abundance folk, common folk, Slums folk, and that was the way of doing things in kind - honesty for honesty. For the number of things Zach shared with him tonight, he owed him a story about himself.  
  
\- This place... - It wasn't his choice, the topic just slipped through his lips and Dave sighed, bracing himself - ...sure guys told you already I'm a common sight here  
  
\- I've heard rumours, yeah.  
  
\- I'm not the only one, sure, but I'm... First time I've come to Curiosity's I was maybe seven. - Or was it earlier? Hard to tell, details from that times were kind of blurry. - Scared shitless. My mom just got news that dad was coming home, that his unit already has been dismissed. But he wasn't showing up, and we waited, and waited some more, finally went looking for him, mom, Katja and I. She went back to the Barracks to ask if he just stayed here longer, for some paperwork or something... or maybe he was hurt or - she didn't say it then, didn't want to scare us, I know that now - but the thing that we all feared the most, like, even more than the idea that dad might be wounded or crippled or worse, was that we will hear that he just have to go back already. To the front.  
  
He felt his throat clenching, but the words just kept on coming.  
  
\- But they wouldn't even let us enter the Source, Katja nor me; mom had the pass, as all of the on-duty soldier's spouses did, even the ones from the Slums. So we stayed, keep on searching. Finally, one of his teammates, seeing us both crying and so, told us to check out for him at The Curiosity's.  
  
\- But they didn't let kids in.  
  
\- No, they fuckin' didn't - Dave grinned. - But we didn't fuckin' care. Well, I kinda did a little bit, 'cause those bouncers were fuckin' scary, but Katja just stormed through them like some goddamned valkyrie, dragging me behind, yelling curses that I won't even quote. - He chuckled. - She was fearless, my sis. Enough to say, there he was. Alone. Drunk. He just... after two years in the trenches, twenty-one months away, not seeing his family, barely getting any letters, after all that, he just... went for a drink. The first thing he did after getting off the train. First motherfuckin' thing.  
  
Zachariah remained silent, for what David was inexpressibly grateful.  
  
\- And you know what? I... understand him now. You just... after all that shit, after... - He put both his hands on the table, leaned over - ...there's a different world there, you wouldn't believe, a whole different fucking universe, all things upside down, all the stuff you wouldn't ever imagine yourself doing here, there are perfectly fucking normal, they're the things you get medals for, and then you just scrapping some kid's guts from your boots 'cos he looked at you and you didn't like it and you don't even think that something is fucking wrong here. And then you're seeing these boots on your mom's carpet. - He took a long breath. - So yeah, I understand him.  
  
\- That's fucked up, David. I'm sorry.  
  
He seemed genuine, at least.  
  
\- It is.  
  
\- Why are you coming right here then?  
  
David looked him in the eyes, ready to see some hints of judgement, but there were none. He leaned back.  
  
\- 'Cos I've claimed the fucking place, Zach. Made it mine. It was the only way to deal with that crap. Sure thing, folks are talking, I'm becoming the same pathetic drunkard my dad is, that I'm right on the path. But here's the difference: there will never be a scared shitless kid crying outside, looking for me. Never will. - He glanced at his hands. - Not fuckin' ever.  
  
\- I... understand. - Zach replied after a while. - Not your experiences, sure, but this I understand. There is... there are things I don't want to talk about, but yeah, I'll never have a child. Never.  
  
He realised he's trembling. Had it to be that one story? He hasn't talked about it since… since…  
  
\- I'll drink to that. - He said.  
  
\- To our fathers then! - Zach raised his glass. - May we never repeat their mistakes by bringing more sad fucks into this sad, sad world.  
  
\- And to our mothers! - Dave followed. - May we ever be able to take care of those depending on us.  
  
Their gaze meets across the table and for a moment the whole world became a less hostile place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I like to drop hints that I'm a mole", says Jeff, not stepping one foot into Curiosity's. Sadly, everyone just think he's freaking out at the sight of all those half-naked women.  
> The bargain between Anton and Viktor is 100% true. It went along the lines of "Next time I'll see any of your men walking through this door, you'll find what's left of him in your breakfast next morning." After 4 cases of funny tasting porridge Vik admitted his defeat.
> 
> Sorry, David, I have a lot of Feelings about you too.
> 
> And sorry, Zach, I'm the one getting lost on this damn maps every-frickin-time, even after 5 playthroughs. But hey, headcanon!
> 
> This fic just keeps growing, guys, halp.


	3. To hell with it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking about the past helps Zach and Dave to understand some things in the present... and the choice is made that will turn everything upside-down.

 

\- So… your sister. - Zach said. - Couldn't help but notice the past tense.

Dave smiled at his glass; his smile was much wider on the curved surface of the crystal.

\- An older one. - He replied. - And ye, she's in the past tense now.

\- Wanna tell me about her? - Zach rested his head on his hand again.

\- Don't you have enough sad stories for one evening?

\- Does it have to be sad?

\- She's just… - _Ah, to hell with it_. - She was better than me, at everything. She could lift me up even when I was in my teens. - He chuckled. It was still vivid in his memory: her broad shoulders, the patch of freckles on her nose and cheeks, the wide smile revealing the chipped tooth, a reminder of one of their many fights. Mom was furious about it, but Katja just shrugged it off. - The best marksman Abundance ever had; she could take a mole's head off its shoulders from two kilometres.

Zach whistled.

\- Damn! I'd like to see that.

\- You're not the only one. She was serving with your folk too, hunting down some high-up Blue blindies. The mancers, you know - he explained, seeing that Zach was apparently not accustomed with the slang. - The Blue mancers. - He sighed. - She was ambitious, my sis, wanted to be acknowledged. A common Ward from the Slums… and they did recognize her skill, they started to take her on some crazy missions, all classified, and… - _And she got it coming. Shouldn't a sniper know how to keep their head down?_ \- ...and finally one time her mancer came back, but she did not.

\- Killed?

\- MIA. But it's been years, so we don't keep our hopes up.

\- I'm sorry. - The sadness on Zach's face seemed genuine - who knows, maybe he really cared? - but there was also something else in his eyes: realisation and guilt.

But Dave knew that Zach didn't understand, not really.

\- Don't be - Dave said calmly. - I've come to terms with it, and it's not your fault. Don't give me that look, I know what you're thinking: long time ago some mancer got my sister killed, so now I'm holding a grudge, barking at every mancer I see.

\- Aren't you?

\- Come on, I'm not that melodramatic. - He pointed his finger at Zach. - Your folks are a bunch of assholes…

\- Hey!

\- ...stiff, arrogant cunts with no sense of humour, but hey, not everyone can be as charming, likeable and pretty as me. - He chuckled, seeing as Zach's expression changes from angry to amused. He had a pretty smile, this Mancer. - It's nothing personal, really. War is war, people are dying, mine and yours alike. The thing is… - He took a deep breath. - ...that around Mancers people are dying a lot more often. And I can't really afford that, you know?

Mancer didn't know, Dave was sure of it. How could he? Mother Abundance didn't treat all her children with the same love.

But Dave wanted to make him understand.

\- You know what "kapsel" is? - he asked.

\- The thing you seal a glass bottle with? - Mancer made a gesture of using a bottle opener.

\- That's how we're calling the medals. You know, The Crimson Wreath, The Blue Cross, The Iron Shield of Valour. I've got at least a dozen at this point. Kapsle; pretty, but you can't really do anything with them other than pinning them to the board. They're all worthless. Vendors at the market are buying them by weight.

\- And that's all you get for your service?

\- Outside of our regular pay, that stays the same as in the day I enlisted ten years ago, yeah. But you know, as Katja went MIA, her share of serum stopped coming; they said that since "there's no confirmation of her status", they can't… So my mom went to the commander of her unit and requested that they consider Katja dead. Don't be so shocked; that way the Army would at least owe us the weregild. But they declined because of course they did. Everybody stops giving a flying fuck about you as soon as you end your service, one way or another.

\- So only you are supporting your family now? - Zach frowned. - But your parents were soldiers too, aren't they getting some kind of…

\- Not a flying fuck, Zach. Oh, the Army is generously allowing them to keep their little shack in the Slums - at least one-third of the Slums are legally a military property, did you know? - but that's all. And they're too ill to work. If it were so that they lose me too… they will starve.

\- I'm… - Zach shook his head. - I don't really know what to say. I've never thought about it.

\- Yeah, I bet you haven't. I guess I'll just try to stay alive, as long as I can. - He smiled. - It may be difficult with you around, and all that shitstorm they're usually sending mancers into, but hey. What can you do.

\- Thank you for telling me this. - Zach smiled back. - I appreciate it.

\- Nah, it's just śliwowica talking. - He waved his hand. - Don't get used to it.

\- That famous 'Bundancean heart-to-heart talk.

\- The first one that starts crying, loses.

\- No no no, you don't lose until you start talking about politics.

\- Or a former love.

\- Your former love who went to politics.

They laughed. Śliwowica or not, it felt good to laugh.

What a night.

\- You know, if I ever live to my forties, I'll become a bouncer here, at the Curiosity's. - Dave took a look around, at the tattered posters, the familiar patterns of rust and stains on the walls. - If the management will stay the same. It will be like working from home, basically.

\- I used to come here too. - Zach leaned back on his chair. - When I was still a kid.

\- Little Rogue, romping around here? - Dave sneered. - At least now this place has some standards.

\- Not terribly high with you onboard, I'm afraid. But no, coming through the main door would send me back home with my teeth in my pocket, so no romping around for me. But I didn't care 'bout the customers nor their pockets; it was all about the Arena.

\- Oh?

\- And there were ways that led you under the Dome if you were small and light and very, very quiet… - Zach's gaze was fixed at some point in the distance. - The hidden paths between the pipes and wires and jagged sheets of metal. I got myself a nasty burn one time. - He looked back at Dave, rubbed his left thigh. - Have a mark to this day.

\- All that to get a look at the show?

\- It was worth it. The fighters seemed so small from the distance, I was also very small then, so I didn't mind. - He smiled. - I was laying on my stomach under the roof of the dome, watching, dreaming… that I will stand there one day, on the sand. That they will all be cheering for me.

\- You, in the Arena? - Dave tilted his head. - That's unexpected. You didn't strike me as an attention-seeking type.

\- It's not about the attention… ok, maybe a little, but on my terms. - Zach bit his lip, struggling with words. -  It's about being good at something and allowing people to see you doing it, not for their amusement, but because it needs to be witnessed, you know? It's about the spectacle.

Dave nodded. Strange as it was, perhaps the need to be acknowledged wasn't that uncommon in the kids from the Slums.

_That's what got Katja killed._

But it wasn't true and he knew it. The ambition didn't kill his sister. The war did.

And turns out, even Mancers have their childhood dreams.

\- My Master used to say... - Zach leaned forward again with a mischievous smirk on his lips - ...that just as sex, a fight can be a fun, bonding activity, as long as all participants are consenting. - He grinned. - What say you, Dave? Care to take part in some consensual violence?

\- What, you really want to go there? - Dave blinked. - To the Arena?

\- Yes, I do.

\- With me?

Zach's grin widened.

\- I wouldn't want it any other way.

Dave laughed, then leaned forward.

\- Is this a date?

\- If you want to…

It was, as most of the thing happening tonight, crazy; both of them were drunk and irresponsible. And yet, as most of the thing happening tonight, it was exhilarating.

Dave looked around, at the neon lights, crystal glasses and empty plates on the table, at the man on the other side - at his cheeks flushed from the alcohol and emotions, at his scars even more visible now, at his eyes so excited and blue.

Was this man his friend? Even if only for today? Could he be something more?

\- Yes - he said. _Ah, to hell with it._ \- Let's go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Zach and Dave, long time no see! I decided to post the rest of this story in the shorter chapters than I previously planned; I have it all sketched out, but frankly, the need to write three long-ass chapters was a bit overwhelming. So, baby steps from now on. We'll get through it.  
> Thanks for stopping by! :*


	4. The Name that Opens All Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are challenges to overcome and junk to search through, and some more family members to discover.

 

 

\- Let's go.

The master of the Arena was easy enough to find; Dave had visited him once or twice before, keeping the company of his mates who had wanted to pass some money on the bets. Dave himself wasn't a gambling man; not with his luck. Still, he remembered the name.

_Samuel…? Sam. Sam Rogue._

A jolly man in his late forties, with a slick dark hair and tattered gloves, covering - Dave knew - blue gang tattoos.

Dave was leading the way, but it was Zach who immediately got all the attention.

\- Mister Mancer! - The bookmaker stood up from his chair, a pad in his hand, a golden tooth flashing in his mouth as he smiled. - You're right on time, we're closing the bets in a few minutes!

\- So all fights have been arranged already? - Zach asked.

\- Why of course! - Rogue raised his brow, confused. - We have contenders signing up with a month's advance.

\- Unfortunate. Call them off, please.

The bookmaker lifted his pad higher as if trying to hide behind it.

\- All our fights are perfectly legal, sir, if there's any misunderstanding…

\- Just a change of plans. We will fight tonight - Zach pointed at Dave and himself - so as you see, there'll be not much room for anything else. They're all welcome to try their luck tho.

But the statement didn't seem to relax the bookmaker. On contrary - he freaked out.

\- Officer, sir, we appreciate… - he mumbled, his gaze darting from Zach to his pad, then to Dave, then finally to his own shoes - ...such an honour, truly, from a technomancer… in this humble establishment… so unexpected…

\- What's the matter? - Dave asked. - You forgot to clean the locker room or what?

\- It's just… in these trying times… - Sam gulped, trying to get yourself together. - The Games are dangerous, errr, games. It's all perfectly legal, of course - he added quickly - we have all required certificates and the trauma team in the ready, and all weapons are, errr…, adjusted for minimizing the risk of a life-threatening injury… Not like a technomancer should worry 'bout getting hit by a mere arena brawler, ha ha ha…

Zach tilted his head.

\- You're worrying about me? - He seemed amused.

\- No, I wouldn't dare, of course not! - Sam's laughter sounded more than a little nervous. - I mean no disrespect, sir. But the army… We're at war, sir, and when the army knows that we purposefully put any of you in danger…

\- They like to have a monopoly on this - Dave muttered. Honestly, with everyone so paranoid about the mancers' safety it was a bloody miracle that the bartender didn't come to them earlier, begging Zach to stop drinking, or else the whole pub will be shut down.

But Zach only rolled his eyes.

\- Oh come in, it's not like people are fighting to death here. At least not officially. And don't even try to tell me that you're not bribing the half of the garrison already. The Vory are running this show, aren't they?

\- To some extent, well, yes… - Sam squirmed - ...but even so, there are rules… We are honoured by your offer, truly, no technomancer had ever fought in the Arena for as long as I remember, but we can't just…

\- But as you said, we are at war - Zach noticed with his best "I'm reasonable here" expression. - And it's been a long war, and people are tired. Haven't they deserved a little entertainment? Something they had never seen before? What do you think, how much serum would they pay to see a real mancer?

\- Well, yes, but…

\- I'm not planning to make a habit out of this. Just one time.

\- I see, it would be a real treat, something to tell your kids about… - The bookmaker pulled his pad close to his chest. - But what if some unfortunate accident happen, even if not to you, officer, but to your Ward companion? I don't know if the Army agrees that lifting the morale is worthy…

Zach sighed rather dramatically.

\- You're right, and it's good of you to prioritize the war effort over the prospect of the profit this fight would bring. - He nodded. - I'm sure uncle Anton will appreciate your deep sense of patriotism.

_A who?_

Dave looked at Zach, shocked, but the mancer just shrugged. He might as well say "Abracadabra" because Sam's attitude changed as if by magic.

\- Of course, we all understand that for the war effort a good morale is equally important as any weapon - he said, plucking a pen out of his pocket - and the good people of Ophir deserves only the best kind of entertainment! And dare I say, watching our brave soldiers, the best among our brave soldiers, presenting their skill for the people… may be reassuring about our inevitable victory, and then, encourage more people to enlist… - He scribbled furiously.

\- Without a doubt. - Zach nodded.

\- And also strengthen our community… and…

\- Yes, all this. I'm glad we can contribute to this noble cause. Now, as for the details…

\- I'm sure there'll be a lot of volunteers ready, eager to test their strength against you, gentlemen. - The golden tooth flashed again. - Of course, you can trust us to select only the finest contenders. I'm thinking… for the two of you… five?

Dave nodded. If they really pick some skilled bastards, then five versus two would make a good challenge. But Zach only frowned.

\- You misunderstood me, I'm afraid. I'm not talking about a single match. I want a Gauntlet.

The bookmaker paled, but the Abracadabra spell held him tight.

\- If you wish, sir. - He noted something down. - But since it's a challenge designed for three, then unless you want to team up with someone, gentlemen…

Zach looked at Dave. Dave thought about the Rookie. And immediately decided that _hell no_ , he won't drag him into this.

Besides, it was a date.

\- Nah, we're good. - He shrugged.

\- As Dave said. - Zach smiled. - But for the comfort of your sleep, you may adjust the number of opponents in each round.

\- Well, yes, of course. - Sam seemed relieved, even if only a little bit. - And it will be easier to divide the, ha ha ha, spoils between the two of you, I imagine… Ekhem. - He coughed, seeing that nobody is laughing. - So, I'm going to ask you for some time, officer, if you please… to cancel the planned matches, open new bets… Make some advertising… About an hour? - He looked at Zach.

\- No problem.

\- No, but there's one tiny thing… - Dave added, bringing everyone's attention. - As you can see, Zach… - He raised his hands up. - ...I have no shield.  

Zach Frowned.

\- Dave, I'm so disappointed right now. How did this happen?

\- What would I do with a shield at the pub, carry drinks on it? I left it in the barracks.

\- But you have your mace.

\- We're in Slums, Zach. I'm not suicidal.

\- Gentlemen, if you please - Sam seemed happy that he finally found a challenge he can easily overcome. - We have a fine selection of all kinds of weapons and protective gears, left here by previous contenders who, for various reasons, found themselves unwilling or unable to collect it. I'm sure we can find something that will suit our brave Dave.

Brave Dave, seeing the grin on Zach's face and being absolutely sure that he will not get rid of this nickname anytime soon, sighed.

\- We can try.

\- Don't worry, I'll make for you something nice - Zach nodded. - We have a whole hour.

 

***

 

The "fine collection" turned out to be, obviously, a pile of junk in the backyard, but Zach remained optimistic. Dave had to admit, it was fun, watching the mancer tearing through the heap of bent and dented steel like a drill sergeant through the fresh recruits. The cold air outside was nice too. Refreshing.

Dave considered for a while the idea of "uncle Anton". Maybe it's not what it seems; maybe it's a term of endearment, the same way that beloved officers were called "grandpas" and "grandmas" by their soldiers. He was aware, that technically Rogues were just another caste, chaotic and lawless one for sure, but a caste nonetheless; perhaps the Rogue on top was like a head of the family?

Still, not a family ties he would expect Mancer to call.

\- You need a hand there? - he asked, seeing Zach carrying an armful of parts towards the workbench.

\- Nah, I'm good.

Hunched over the table, Zach was focused and quick, his movements nimble and sure. He probably wasn't so drunk already - a faster metabolism, Dave heard something about it; handy thing when you're taking drugs all the time, less handy for those who have to feed you - but there was more than that. In this quiet place, not having to deal with people, Zach was at ease.

And it showed.

_-_ Wszystko na odpierdol _..._ \- he murmured, watching some spring falling out of the device he was holding. _-_ Byle zrobić _..._

\- Watch out, your Rogue is showing - Dave chuckled. - "Mister Mancer".

\- Spierdalaj \- Zach replied, but there was no anger in his voice. - Or rather fuck off, Dave. See what I have to work with? Shit's holding on on the rust and scotch tape.

\- Welcome to the military.

\- You don't say. Every time I see your weapon, I want to cry.

\- Hey! My wrench saw more real fighting than you, świeżynku _._

\- It looks like shit. A little maintenance won't remove that gritty charm, you know? Only the dirt.

\- Get your hands off my weapon, mancer.

\- Come on, Dave - Zach wiggled his eyebrows. - Let me take care of your mace...

\- Damn, man, you're thirsty - Dave shook his head, feeling the blush returning to his face. - You kiss your mother with this mouth?

\- We, Rogues, have no mothers, don't you know? We're spawning directly from the soil fully formed, every time someone's talking shit 'bout Mother Abundance.

\- That sounds about right. But you, mister, have a fine piece of staff yourself. - He pointed with his chin at the weapon attached to the mancer's belt. - Sure hope you're not overcompensating for anything… - He added because this joke had to be told. - A really nice thing tho. It has a style.

\- Thank you. It was given to me on my initiation.

\- "Initiation"? - Dave raised his brows. - Sounds cultish.

\- What can I say, we're very dramatic people.

\- What it was like? - He leaned closer. - Everyone was wearing some freakish mask, right? Then a group sex?

\- Fuck off. - Zach pushed him away, laughing. - Shadows, I wish there was an orgy, but no. There was a giant mantis tho.

\- You had to bone a giant mantis... - Dave repeated with his best serious expression. - That's a real… Fuck! - A bolt of lightning stung him in the arm, making a whole limb numb for a moment. - Pojebało?!

\- You've earned this - Zach replied, accentuating his words by pointing the pliers at his face. - For talking shit.

Dave rubbed his arm, but didn't argue.

\- You really fought that thing?

\- Mhm.

\- That's crazy.

He saw them a few times in the past, over six meters tall creatures with jagged pincers and a corrosive venom; nasty beasts made of chitin and hatred. Mantises never came close to the trenches, but any small squad marching on foot through the canyons had to be really fucking careful.

They had to use mortars to kill the damned thing.

To even think that somebody could face a mantis in a melee combat was insane.

\- If it makes it look any better, it wasn't exactly planned; the creature just appeared, and I thought "Huh, I guess I have to fight it". - Zach shrugged.

\- No, that's still crazy. Quite a feat tho. That you survived, I mean.

\- I know, right? I stood my ground for a while, managed to get a few clean hits, but then… I was lucky that my Master showed up. He saved me… one last time.

_The one you will never see again._

\- Now, try this. - Zach tossed the shield at him before Dave could come up with something consoling to say. - Not too heavy?

Dave didn't reply right away; he took a moment to examine it - the modular construction, the smooth movement of the outer ring of plates, the fine fringe. A cushioning layer of thick cloth and leather on the inside. He swung; not too heavy, nicely balanced. Perfect.

\- You sure they gave you the right name? - he asked, a happy grin on his face. - Shouldn't you be a weaponmancer or something?

\- A junkmancer - Zach grinned back. - Are you happy?

\- Like a vor on Dowser's Day. It's perfect. Thanks. - He swung again. - Let's kick some ass.

\- Let's.

The Arena awaited.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A ton of kudos to Salmaka for showing me the trick with hovering translations. :* :* :*


	5. Kings of the Hill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes with a background music - here's "Spoiler" for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G70S5fumHso

 

 

Dave had deja-vu.

It all felt familiar - the darkness, muffled voices outside, his fingers closed on the weapon, dryness in his mouth. And waiting. Any minute now. Nowhere to go but forward. Any minute now the doors will open, behind them - people, screams, blood. Any minute now.

The waiting was the worst part. Dave knew everything about it.

He was grateful for the liquor still coursing through his veins, keeping him calm. He knew, of course, that his jaw is clenched a bit too hard and there's a goosebump on his forearms - a part of his brain yelling at him to get the hell out of there - but it was expected. He knew how his body was behaving. It wasn't the first time he was going to fight while drunk.

Back then, in the trenches, they could turn virtually everything into a moonshine. And that was even before the higher-ups decided that the front line soldiers were entitled to 100g of vodka daily. To keep the morale high, they reasoned, and it worked. Trenchville wasn't a place for sober men. Or sane, for that matter.

Once more Dave examined supporting straps of his new shield. They looked solid; they will hold. He was ready.

It will all go to hell, this calmness and warmth, the second a real action will start; Dave knew it. It will be the same as the countless times before. Hit them before they know it. Don't let them hit you back. If you get wounded, you're useless. If you fall over, you're dead. Easy-peasy.

_Except for this time they will be watching you._

This was indeed new; they were in the Arena, and people were counting on a show. Not like the audience's opinion was terribly important - if you're down, you're down, regardless of what mister Labor from the sixth row has to say about it - but winning their approval might be useful. A bottle of water tossed on the sand during a break might give them just that edge they will need to see this through.

The Gauntlet.

Five rounds of combat with no breaks longer than it was needed to remove defeated opponents from the ground. No replacing of damaged equipment, no medical help other than the one they might provide for themselves during that short breaks.

This will be a long fight. And this time, he will be almost alone.

\- I'm happy to have you here - Zach whispered, breaking the silence. - You're a good fighter, Dave.

\- Riiight. - He huffed. The sudden praise caught him off-guard. - Like you know everything about it.

\- Don't dismiss me so easily - Zach narrowed his eyes. - I don't know the war as well as you do, but I know my craft.

_I sounded like an asshole. Not everything has to come up with a witty remark, you know?_

\- Well, thanks. I mean, if you say so… thanks.

\- I mean it, Dave. And I'm not even speaking about your technique, even so it's versatile and efficient. You're smart, strategic fighter, calm under pressure. Not seeking only your own glory, but thinking about the whole team. I've seen you not going even for an exposed target if it would put Jeff or me in danger - Zach sighed sadly. - You would be a good leader; shame they never let you.

This was… unexpected. Dave looked up to see Zach's shy, fleeting smile. In some inexplicable way, he felt warmer.

\- You can count on me - he smiled back - to keep both of you from getting killed. Not like you need it. - He rubbed the back of his neck. - With all the crazy shit I've heard about that your folk can do, you can probably just waltz there alone and give them run for their money.

\- No, I couldn't - Zach snorted. - Nor Master Ian could, nor any of your generals. We need each other… whatever our egos may think about it.

\- Good to hear, because I'm not letting you go anywhere on your own, Zach. I have your back.

\- And I have yours.

Somehow, things changed, subtly, yet fundamentally. He wasn't tense anymore. He was excited.

Seeing Zach right next to him, a shy smile on his lips, a playful twinkle in his eyes, Dave decided, that no matter what happens next...

\- ...just want you to know, Zach - he muttered. - It's the best date I've ever had.

Even if Zach wanted to reply, he couldn't make it - because suddenly a horn roared with a voice that echoed against the walls, vibrated deep within their bones. Then it sounded again, and then one time more.

And the door opened.

Dave took a deep breath.

There was light ahead of them. Nowhere to go but forward.

They walked side by side.

 

***

 

The Arena was colossal, larger than Dave would imagine seeing it from the outside. Military-grade spotlights bright as Sun himself turning the sand blood red, a dome of thick steel bars above, protecting rows and rows of seats for the audience. Behind the bars - a blurry tapestry of raised hands and excited faces, shouting, cheering, chanting.

They said, a half of the Slums can fit into the Ophir's Arena, but it looked like the whole district came here tonight. And they were all looking at Dave and Zach.

Dave licked his lips. His heart was pounding.

There was a voice coming through speakers, but it drowned in the noise of the crowd.

Zach poked Dave in the side, catching his attention.

\- Let's greet them, shall we?

Holding retracted staff in one hand, he made a deep, elaborate bow to the audience. The noise erupted even louder. They loved him already.

\- Show-off - Dave chuckled, saluting briefly.

\- I've always wanted to do this.

The voice from the speakers died off, replaced by rough musical riffs, deep, deafening, hypnotizing. The rhythm was pulsing through the air, crawling into Dave's skull, into his thoughts, into his blood.

\- "Spoiler"? - he shouted through the music.

\- Back from Earth! - Zach grinned.

\- I had never fought with a soundtrack before!

The horn roared again, piercing through the waves of music.

Dave watched as across the sand the second pair of doors opened, revealing their first opponents - one, two, three, four… five silhouettes against the dark mouths of the gate, much larger than the one he and Zach came through.

Two versus five for the start. The arenamaster wasn't fucking around.

The audience exploded with noise again, but the music swallowed it whole. Or it was Dave's brain, cutting off all distractions.

\- This is it. - With a twist of his wrist, Zach extracted his staff to the full length. - Ready, soldier?

Dave bashed his shield with his mace, once, twice, thrice.

\- Let them come.

\- Good. Show me your teeth.

Dave growled.

 

***

 

It was nothing like in a battle.

There was no panic, no cries for mercy, no explosions followed by rocks and metal and meat falling down like a rain.

No fear.

There was adrenaline pumping through his veins, music blasting in his ears, violent rhythm slicing the world into a slideshow, frames frozen in time.

There was...

...beads of blood in the air like a broken necklace, the woman falling to the ground before the blood does…

...a face against him, blue tattoos on dark skin, pink tongue sticks from between sharpened teeth. Too late Dave notices the electric baton, too late to jump back, but Zach is already here, the tip of his staff on the dark skull, pointed teeth clashing on the tongue...

…the mutant bites the dust; Dave raises his mace high and shouts. "King of the hill!" People are yelling, laughing, screaming; hundreds of hands punching the steel bars of the dome. "King of the hill! King of the hill! King of the hill!", they chant. The round is over...

...a chain wrapped around Zach's leg, a stream of blue energy running back up through the links, strong enough to toss the wielder in the air. Dave covers the mancer, giving him time to stand up…

...a taste of copper in his mouth; blood. His own? Dave doesn't know and doesn't care…

...a bottle draws a high arch in the air; Zach catches it and tosses to Dave. He pours the water on his head. The crowd explodes…

There was joy.

Through the flurry of blows, through bloodied knuckles and gnashing teeth, they are going together, Zach and he, until they are not - because they know each other completely, trust each other completely and are acting as one, a single mind in two bodies. A beast of steely hide and electric teeth, quick and precise and merciless.

Victorious.

King of the hill!

King of the hill!

King of the hill!

 

***

 

Until the fifth round came.

First, the music calmed down and died, throwing them both off balance, confused, panting. Then the voice of the arenamaster came through the speakers.

\- What a show! What a night!!! - he paused, giving the audience a moment to yell. - We had prepared the finest of the finest for this final round, a challenge worthy of this night and of these two… - He paused again, as the people screamed their lungs out. - ...but it had to be cancelled! Yes, cancelled - he repeated, trying to outshout the crowd - ...because we found someone even better, someone absolutely! Fucking! Special!!! My friends, thanks to our benefactor, Anton Rogue, I give you, people of Ophir… Admiral Kuznetsov!

Dave blinked, confused. The name didn't sound familiar. And what kind of rank was it anyway?

The gate opened once more, revealing a pair of ostrich riders with long electric lances. Dave furrowed his brow; are they supposed to be such a challenge? But then he realized that the riders are not interested in them; they merely tried to lure something in.

A giant triangular head showed up in the light.

Dave took a step back.

It was a mantis.

With an open mouth, Dave watched as the crew of riders escorted the monster outside, agile ostriches barely avoiding three pairs of gigantic, pointed legs. There were strands of leather and chains on beast's head and pincers; a harness of a sort, now partially removed.

The thing was huge.

Holy fuck, it was huge.

\- What do we do? - Dave asked, watching as one rider touched a part of the harness with his lance, removing the magnetic lock. The chains fell down. The creature shook his head until the rest got off, then it screamed; high, metallic sound echoed under the dome. Dave felt a drop of sweat running down his face. - Zach?

_We had to use mortars to kill one of these._

_How do you even fight something like this?_

\- Zach...?

Dave turned at him and froze.

He has never seen a terrified technomancer before.

_And just how often have you looked them in the eyes?_

Zach's eyes were two black dots of fear, his skin white as a sheet, right corner of his mouth twitching.

\- I can't do it, Dave. - His voice sounded flat, absent. - I can't. Not without him.

The beast trashed against the bars, sending a wave of panicked screams through the audience. The spotlights above flickered.

Drowning in adrenaline, Dave connected the dots. His Master. The one that saved him.

\- Then we just gonna fuckin' die, because he's gone, Zach! Remember? Gone! - He yelled. - You will never see him again!

With a movement so slow and mechanical that it was almost as terrifying as the mantis, Zach looked back at him. His breath was heavy.

\- Stay… away.

\- Zach?

The Mancer grinned, his mouth uncanny wide, his teeth chattering. Dave noticed the needles of blue arches crackling between his lips. He jumped back.

\- Fuck!

At the corner of his eye, he saw the beast standing tall at its full height, its mandibles moving in a way that weirdly reminded sniffing. Then it started to crawl forward. Towards them.

\- Screeeeee!

Zach detached a small blue injector from his belt. The needle pierced his tight.

\- You gonna kill yourself!

Dave watched Zach's right hand twitching, then his whole body shaking as the drug took its effect.

\- Nnnot… today.

\- Zach!

The mancer dashed forward.

The whole Arena fell quiet.

Zach reached the mantis in full speed, a tiny spot in the beast's shadow, quick and bright as a spark. He dived under the pincers, rolled over, barely avoiding one pointed leg, then another. The beast stopped in place, turned around with dexterity unbelievable for its size, tried to pin the human down with its legs. It snorted, frustrated, spitting around dark drops of venom.

Zach sprang out from under the beast's abdomen, hopped on one of the plated legs.

 _No way_ , Dave thought, seeing Zach jumping on the beast's back, using his staff to balance himself. _Like a fuckin' tightrope walker_.

Dave started to run towards them.

The mantis turned around, uncaring of this added weight, gigantic pincers furrowing the sand. By what kind of magic Zach kept his balance on its back, Dave didn't know, but he guessed what the mancer was trying to do. And for this plan to succeed, he needed just one thing.

_Help. He needs help. He didn't fight alone back then either._

There was no time for fear.

Dave bashed his shield with his mace, once, twice, thrice.

The mantis hissed and darted forward, towards him, massive body extended like those of a racing dog.

_It has to lower its head._

Zach ran down on the beast's neck, inhumanly agile, putting his staff away on the wing and pulling out a pair of daggers. In three steps he was on the giant head, kneeled down and putting all that momentum in his strike, he plunged the blades between the chitin plates. The beast kicked in fury, but Zach was holding steady, his hands clenched on the daggers.

He was glowing.

Then he screamed.

It lasted only a second, before the mantis made a shriek of its own, high, piercing and almost human-like; the sound echoed under the dome, deafening and awful, replaced by low, metallic cackling. The creature raised on its four hind legs, its spine unnaturally bent back, the head pointed backwards, one pair of legs and pincers thrashing frantically through nothing.

Dave saw Zach falling down, bouncing off the beast's back and disappearing below.

The creature's legs collapsed.

The mantis' head hit the sand, then again, weaker. Finally, it remained still, pointed limbs curled up, gigantic silhouette towering over the sand. Completely still. Dead.

Dave smelled the odour of burned flesh.

And it was the greatest thing ever.

\- Zach! - he shouted, running through the sand.

\- Here!

The mancer walked to meet him, limping, bleed pouring from his nose over his chin, dropping on his uniform. Alive

They were alive.

They won.

Holy shit, they won.

Dave grabbed Zach's hand and raised it high.

\- King of the hill! - he roared top of his lungs.

\- King of the hill! - seconded Zach, his voice hoarse from screaming.

\- King of the hill!!! - chanted the audience, a blast of sound rolling through the dome.

It was over. They won. They lived through.

Surrounded by the howling crowd, with a bloodied sand under his feet, with pure adrenaline in his veins, feeling Zach's hand still closed on his own, tired and aching and so very, very happy, Dave had never felt so alive.

They live. They live. They live.

He pulled Zach close and kissed him.

And to feel that without a moment of hesitation Zach kissed him back… it was even better.

\- Kings of the hill! Kings of the hill! Kings of the hill!

 

***

 

\- Best. Date. Ever. - Dave declared with a towel on his face.

There were wet cloths ready for them in this small locker room. It was so nice to clean off all that blood and dirt from their faces.

\- You had a good time? - Zach grinned to a mirror, fixing his hair.

\- Holy shit, man, it was amazing. You were amazing. I mean… dude.

\- Thanks.

\- Seriously, man. But, you ok? - Dave winced. - Shit looked painful.

\- I'm fine. Probably gonna regret it tomorrow tho; have a few bruises here and there. And thank you. I couldn't make it without you.

Dave smiled. He felt lighheaded.

\- That's right. But you didn't have to.

Just yesterday, had someone told Dave that he will be ready to face a giant mantis on foot to help some mancer, he would laughed them off.

_But it wasn't a mancer anymore. It was his mancer._

\- What with that nosebleed?

\- It happens. Don't worry about it.

Somebody knocked to the door.

\- There's someone who wants to meet you, gentlemen.

The door of the locker room opened, revealing a pale, burly man in a finely tailored suit, with the jacked hanging casually over his shoulder. The man leaned against the doorframe, eyed Zach up and down with an utterly unimpressed look on his face.

And only because of this look Dave managed to finally recognize him.

Anton Rogue.

He looked like a different man without that leather.

\- So I have to add animal cruelty to the ever-growing list of your transgressions, Mancer? - he said, meticulously ignoring Dave's presence. - Poor creature; such a gruesome way to go.

\- You didn't have to throw your pet at us. - Zach raised his brow. - Admiral Kuznetsov? Seriously?

\- I also didn't have to put up with your insolence, calling my name to get what you want, yet here I am… But even if they failed to teach you manners in that posh school of yours, looks like they didn't waste you completely. - He sighed. - You made quite a spectacle.

\- Thank you. - Zach bowed casually. - Though the spectacle would be even better with me dying right in front of you, don't you think? More ironic.

\- Overdramatic, like every one of them. - Anton grimaced. - You truly are Mancer now.  - Nonchalantly, he tossed a bag in Zach's direction. - Buy something nice for yourself. While we're at it, I took the liberty of settling your bill at the bar.

\- Oh. Thanks.

\- Don't mention it. Nice work with the watch tho. But don't come here again, please, you scare my employees. _Uvidimsja,_ mister Mancer!

Without gracing Dave with a single look, Anton left.

\- See? - Zach threw his hands. - He's the only one who calls me "Mancer" to insult me. Everybody else just calls me "Rogue". - He peeked inside the bag, picked up a scrap of paper. - Awwww. - He beamed. - He likes me.

\- What's this? - Dave came closer. - What did you got?

\- Our winning.

Zach passed him the paper. Dave read the number.

Then read it again.

\- O kurwa.

\- Right? It's far too big for a standard gauntlet prize. Looks like a share of tonight's bets. - Zach was grinning. - We made uncle Anton a very happy man tonight.

Dave's thoughts took a step back from the sum.

\- Wait, you mean… - He nodded towards the door that the boss of the Vory just left through. - Seriously? You're his nephew?

\- The closest living relative, turns out. ...what? Why are you looking at me like that?

\- I don't know, just… never thought about Anton Rogue having a family.

\- He wasn't around when I was a kid, too busy being a crime lord… And then Mancers took me in. He's still salty about that. - He shrugged. - But that's his shit to deal with, not mine.

\- Looks like it.

\- Don't mind him. There's the more important thing here. - Zach put the paper back into the bag and closed it off. - Our prize. Take it.

\- We can share…

\- All of it, Dave - Zach nodded encouragingly. - Come on. I'm not allowed to have my own money, remember? And you can put it to a good use. Help your folks.

\- I… - Flabbergasted, Dave reached out for the bag, but then his brain caught up with him. - You mad bastard - he said slowly. - You planned this all along? The Arena, Anton, everything?

\- Well, I didn't see the mantis coming... again. - Zach laughed, embarrassed, but with a happy twinkle in his eyes. -  But, in all earnest, yeah… I hoped so.

\- All this… for me?

\- I couldn't just listen to all that and do nothing; not when I could do something...

\- Why didn't you tell me?

\- Would you let me if I did?

Dave didn't answer. Slowly, with his eyes fixed at Zach, he took the bag and put it on the ground. Then he took a step forward, grabbed the front of Zach's uniform. Pulled him closer.

The second time they kissed was nothing like the first one; it was slow, deliberate and long.

\- Is this safe now? - Dave asked, feeling Zach's hand in his hair, Zach's breath on his neck, quick and warm.

\- Don't worry - he murmured, tracing Dave's jaw with his fingers, with his mouth. - I won't hurt you. - Zach moved his head away and bit his lip, then looked him right in the eyes. - I want you.

Their third kiss was hungry.

Feeling a wave of heat spreading over his body, Dave pushed him against the wall; Zach hissed as his head hit the concrete.

\- Sorry - Dave whispered with his mouth on Zach's ear, his fingers on the back of Zach's neck, keeping him in place.

\- It's ok. - Zach's hand slid down Dave's waist to his ass. - I like it rough.

\- Do you.

Dave kissed him again, deeply, passionately, pressing him against the wall, clenching his fingers around the nape of Zach's neck. Then he bit his earlobe. Zach purred.

Encouraged, Dave reached down, between the mancer's legs. Zach gasped and gently rocked his hips, leaning to Dave's touch.

\- How do you take off this uniform? Don't want to break anything…

\- Not here - Zach whispered, a bit breathless. Dave felt his smile on his own skin. - It's not a place...

\- I know a place.

Zach pushed him away.

\- Grab that bag - Zach took a deep breath, evened his hair. There was a blush on his face, his eyes almost glowing. - And lead me.

With neon lights of Curiosity's behind them, together they went into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zach, a few chapters ago: "I won't have sex with you on our first date"  
> Zach, now: "Well, so that was a lie"  
> Please, be gentle with me, it was my first even remotely erotic thing written in English. ;) But the latest Salmaka's fic encouraged me to try.  
> Also me, dropping breadcrumbs of background details all the time, that turned out to be relevant in this chapter: ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> ...also kudos to any of you who without googling knows, who or what was the Anton's pet named after :D


	6. Times of War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.

ACS found him the next day.

\- Just a formality - the man assured, regulating a slim blue screen in front of him, then turned the power on. The device woke up with a hum, projecting bright lines of a holo keyboard onto the table. His fingers danced above it. - A moment, please.

\- Hm.

There wasn't much more in the room - bright, empty walls, a single table in the middle, two uncomfortable chairs on the opposite sides. A lamp on the ceiling, casting a cone of cold light. Concrete floor.

Dave had a lot of time to take a good look at all this. He was sure that the man is dragging this on purpose.

\- Just a bit more patience, please, and… and where did I put them… - the man murmured to himself, tapping front pockets of his uniform. - Aha! - Triumphantly, he pulled a pair of glasses, put them on his nose. - And we are good to go. - He smiled encouragingly.

He had a nice smile. A pleasant, low voice.

With the pair of thick, dark glasses on his nose, Colonel Viktor Watcher looked like a high school teacher.

Dave took a deep breath.

_ That's exactly the shit I wanted to avoid. _

\- I'm ready, sir.

His head was pounding.

\- Now, private, there are… rumours... - Watcher paused, likely more for the effect than waiting for the acknowledgement because right away he added - ...very troubling rumours, but there's nothing to be afraid of. We're here just to uncover the truth.

_ I'm fucked. _

\- About what, sir?

\- The last night's events at the pub… - The colonel looked at his screen. - "Curiosity's", I believe. We've been told there was an incident involving you, private, and your superior officer, Lieutenant Zachariah Mancer.

_ Of course you've been told. Of course. With that many people at the audience, somebody had to talk. _

_ What were we thinking? _

_ More importantly - how much he knows? _

But denying it had no sense. Not when a half of the Slums saw them there.

\- We were there yesterday - he said.

\- In the Arena?

\- Well, yes…

\- Private, I understand that you're nervous.-  Smiling reassuringly, Colonel Viktor looked at him from above his glasses. - This must be a new situation for you, and you have every right to be annoyed that I'm distracting you from your duties… even if we're both just doing our work for the good of Abundance. - He nodded. - So, as I value your time, private, I'm just going to tell you what we heard, and then we're going to determine if it's true or not, right?

Normally, that patronizing attitude would make Dave bristle. But it wasn't a good time to let his nerves get the best of him.

\- Yes, sir.

\- I'm sure you'll be off in no time. - Colonel nodded again and looked at the screen. - So, apparently, the last night at the Curiosity's arena Lieutenant Zachariah and you were participating in a series of consecutive duels with a growing number of opponents, ended with, so I've heard, a fight with a giant animal. Is this correct?

\- Yes, sir.

\- Ha! Then we're halfway there, private. Now, you are, obviously, alive, so I can already dismiss all stories that saw you both dying on the Arena. - He huffed, chuckling at his own joke. - As well as… - He leaned over the table, eyeing Dave head to toe. - ...the ones featuring some dismemberment, also appears to be false. Thanks the Shadow.

_ Yay, _ Dave thought.  _ Thanks a lot, Shadow. _

\- Now, private, I imagine it was a difficult situation for you… - The colonel looked at him attentively, his fingers hovering above the keyboard. - ...with him being your commander, and the technomancer, no less, but still… there's no shame in admitting that it was an order he was not authorized to give.

\- I beg your pardon?

\- The Arena is a private property of, dare I say, no strategic value, private, and I imagine that your opponents weren't enemies of the state… We're not sure about the beast, it may have plotted something. - Colonel Viktor smiled, adjusted the glasses that slid a bit down on his nose. - But I can't really understand why he ordered you to use lethal force against those men.

\- I… -  _ What kind of mind-bending fuckery was that? _ \- It wasn't an order, sir.

\- Didn't know that the Army introduced a practice of "friendly requests" among the troops, clearly, I'm not up to date…

\- Haha, sir. - The monuments at the Source had nothing on Dave's stone face right now. - Funny. But he didn't order me anything; we agreed. We were off-duty, sir.

\- A technomancer is never off-duty.

\- I know nothing about this. - Dave shrugged. - As far as I'm concerned, this one was.

\- So, is this some kind of habit of him, private? Does Lieutenant Zachariah often approach his subordinates off-duty, proposing them participation in a violent, half-legal sports?

Dave's resisted the urge to tap his fingers on the table. He didn't know what to do with his hands.

_ No. It's the first time Zach did it, and I exactly know, why. _

\- I don't know, sir. It's the only time we've met off-duty.

_ But fuck you, Viktor. _

\- Well, then it's certainly something to be wary of in the future, private. Such self-destructive tendencies may be grave; sadly, they're not uncommon. - The colonel looked back at the screen. - So Lieutenant Zachariah was aware that one of your opponents will be a fully grown mantis, right?

_ So suddenly you know what kind of animal it was, right? _

But what was he supposed to say? Neither option looked good.

\- I don't know sir.

\- So he forced you into the Arena, without explaining the nature of the challenge you will have to face?

_ Ah, fuck. _

\- I said, he didn't force me. And that's how it works, sir. You'll never know until you see it.

\- And yet it was the risk that Lieutenant decided to take. - Colonel Viktor started to write again, his eyes fixed on the screen. - And put you, his subordinate, and himself, in a life-threatening danger for selfish reasons, making a spectacle of himself in front of the people from the Slums. In... the... time... of... war. - He tapped ostensibly the last dot, then he frowned. - Mancers, am I right? - Shaking his head, he sent Dave a confidential look.

Dave shrugged.

Put that way, it didn't look good. Hell, even without this fuckin' Watcher hellbent on making a problem out of it , it didn't look good.

_ What were we thinking? _

And it wasn't even the whole story.

Dave was aware that all that happened yesterday was, well, inappropriate. Off-duty or not, soldiers shouldn't bang their officers, regardless of how enthusiastic about that both of them may be. Not like it was unheard of - the army's code of conduit was all very well, yet living in constant danger, and in a significant distance from home, made people deal with the stress in all sorts of ways. Dave himself could name more than few officers who fucked their way through all major fronts of north and east. The Army used to deal with such things swiftly and discreetly - by making sure that no socially-confused baby will happen, then shaking the finger at the rowdy Majors and deploying horny soldiers to some remote station.

But now, with the current pissing match between the Army and ASC - it would be a shitshow.

He tightened his lips.

Maybe the rumours didn't cover that part.

\- There's one more thing… - Colonel grimaced in embarrassment and Dave was absolutely sure that the universe just hates him personally. - I feel silly even bringing this up, but we're here for the facts, after all. So, as I've heard, at one moment Lieutenant Zachariah kissed you in front of the audience?

Dave felt like a sandhopper caught in the reflectors of an incoming train.

\- No… I mean, I kissed him, sir. Not the other way around.

_ You're making it look like I had nothing to say about all that happened yesterday. Like it has all been done to me. _

_ Fuck you. _

\- Oh? And why it's that?

_ Because I wanted to. Because I was happy that he's alive. Because… _

He didn't want to think about - not here, not with this man present, judging him, distorting his memories. He didn't want to think that there was something wrong about what they did.

\- Just… emotions. - He shrugged. - Nerves. We just won a difficult battle, and… you know how it feels like, sir.

He looked at Colonel and immediately realized, that he made a mistake. There was no recognition on Watcher's face, no shared experience.

_ He doesn't know. He doesn't understand. _

\- Emotions, you say. - Colonel's fingers danced on the keyboard. He was writing for a while, tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. - Did he offer you a promotion in exchange for sex?

Dave blinked.

\- What?

\- I asked you a question, private David. - Looking at the screen, Viktor adjusted the glasses on his nose.

\- No, he didn't, sir. - Dave's heart was pounding.  _ How did we even get here?! _

\- Did he ever make other proposals of sexual nature?

_ Shadows help me, how good of a liar am I? _

\- No, sir.

\- Did he ever make any inappropriate comments regarding you or his other subordinates?

\- No.

\- Did he touched or…

Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap...

\- No! - he nearly shouted. He was angry. - No, sir, he never touched me, are you even listen to me?

The colonel looked at him from above his glasses.

\- Not even when you were kissing? How's that possible?

\- I mean…

\- So he did touch you?

Dave huffed. The fact that Watcher managed to baffle him so easily pissed him off.

\- I'm sure he also patted me on the back once or twice - he snapped. - Didn't know it's illegal, but you better write it down as well, sir.

Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.

It was a while before Viktor Watcher turned to him again.

\- I know it must be unpleasant for you, private. - He took down his glasses and started to rub them carefully with a handkerchief. There was a red mark on his nose. - After all, loyalty is a virtue the Army values very highly, and it's your commander we're talking about. But it is crucial that this loyalty will not leave us blind to our shortcomings… regardless of the rank we're wearing.

_ We didn't do anything wrong _ , he thought, but he didn't say anything. The man would just twist his words anyway.

\- Unfortunate creatures, the technomancers… - he sighed, putting the glasses back on. - Fearsome warriors, no doubt, fearless and devoted, but their power comes with a price. They're governed by a fickle balance of fluid, prone to sudden emotional outbursts that are devastating to everyone around. - He looked at Dave, worried. - I'm sure you know.

Dave thought about Zach's eyes back then, in the Arena, about the words that snapped him back to life. Electricity crackling between his lips like a second set of teeth.  _ But he didn't hurt me. _

He didn't say anything.

\- And it is not unwise to say that people so irrational, so erratic in their behaviour can't be left unsupervised, the same as it's not unwise for a mother to watch over her children. The mancers need our gentle, but firm hand to guide them, show them their true potential and purpose. It's not their fault, that they are what they are, and they need our help. Do you understand, David?

_ So are we on a first-name basis now? _

He didn't answer. It was a commonly known fact that the mancers are more or less unhinged and should be kept from having too much to say. Only that now… it felt wrong.

_ Zach was just sad. He was mourning. In no more irrational and destructive way than other soldiers did. _

But he didn't say anything. He knew already that Viktor Watcher did not expect him to answer.

\- But we also have to be aware, that among other Mancers Zachariah is an anomaly. - Colonel winced as if swallowing something sour. - People of mixed blood are always prone to some degree of… deviancy. More so, as he's, unfortunately, a half-Rogue - he almost spate this word. - Nothing good has ever come out of this caste; thieves and whores, all of them.

Dave looked at him, his eyes wide. He never heard one officer talked about another one that way.

But Colonel was just getting started.

\- His very existence is a mistake, David, this cross-breeding should never have happened. You're surprised? No, this wasn't a miracle, no Shadow blessed a dirty Rogue kid with technomancy. It's a heritable trait, which means, that twenty years ago one of them fucked some Rogue girl, making a baby that should have never been born. Such a waste... Like having a prized champion and let him rut with a mongrel, allowing a Shadow-knows what genes into the pool. And now we're starting to see the effects.

Dave listened, shocked. The contrast between Viktor's friendly, teacher-like appearance and his words was so disturbing that for a moment he feared that he just made that up. That it's just another distorted image, another toothed, bloodied memory trying to crawl its way into his waking hours.

But no, Colonel Viktor really was there, speaking about the Abundance deadliest troops as if they were a cattle.

\- Sir… they are people.

Viktor looked at him with a lenient smile.

\- Of course, they are, I've never stated otherwise - he said, like a teacher encouraging a slow student to keep up. - But we're all predisposed to different things, and sharing and nurturing these gifts within our castes ensures that the future generations will be well prepared for their roles. It's a cornerstone of the Abundance doctrine; surely I don't have to remind you that?

\- No, sir. - Feeling this verbal slap on the wrist, Dave backed off. People have been "re-educated" for less.

_ Coward. _

\- I warned Mancers that he should never be allowed to carry the name, that this experiment is doomed to fail - Viktor continued. - But did anyone listen to me? Of course not; the mancers are doing what they want, as always, but the second something goes wrong, everyone expects me to sort off their mess. And now, much to no one's surprise, the half-breed is already showing chaotic, violent tendencies, mingling with mobsters and Shadow knows what else… Sad as it is, this bloodline is lost, and I will make sure that his genes won't be passed on. But for now, all we can do is to minimize the damage.

Dave was silent. This whole rant made him want to throw up.

_ I was telling the same things, _ he realized, disgusted.  _ With no ill will, without really thinking what it means, but I was - the same shitty jokes about all Rogues being criminals or prostitutes, the same attitude of seeing all Mancers as disasters waiting to happen. Easy, ready-made thoughts, perfect to see someone else as lesser, perfect to feel better about myself. _

Now, seeing the same ideas cranked up to eleven in Viktor Watcher, Dave was ashamed of himself.

_ Never again. _

Viktor looked back at the screen.

\- But then you say, private, that Lieutenant Zachariah is an upstanding officer and citizen of Abundance. - His glasses slid down again; he adjusted them. - And I'm relieved to hear that, truly. Yet that unfortunate incident was, sadly, a proof that there's something deeply troubling going on in Lieutenant surroundings, some… corrupting influence. Let me find your files, private.

Dave froze.

He could swear, that the Colonel looked that long for the data on purpose, just to set him off.

\- Here you are! - he announced at last. - An exemplary military career, I see! My congratulations, that's a spotless service record.  - He looked at Dave from above the glasses, the gesture that Dave grew to hate already.

\- Thank you, sir.

\- It's me who should thank you, private, for your service to our corporation. And for your excellent cooperation today. - Watcher returned to the files, his eyes darting left and right. - Yet here I see… - he clicked with his tongue. - The late, infamous Boris Ward… you two were in the same unit?

\- Yes, sir.

\- Now that's troubling… But he's been dealt with, fortunately. And while he ran off like a coward he was, you, private, remained loyal, and it's our choices who speaks louder than any shallow acquaintances, isn't it right?

_ He was my brother, you piece of shit, you can't even begin to imagine what we've been through. _

\- He's dead. - He shrugged. - That's all.

\- Indeed he is. - Viktor raised his brow as if that "indeed" was highly questionable. - Now, Katja Ward. Sister, I believe?

Hearing her name from that man, Dave barely managed not to growl.

\- Yes, sir.

\- Another brilliant military career… cut early, sadly, and… left unclosed?

\- Missing in action, sir - he replied stiffly. - It happens, sir.

\- Of course. - Somehow Colonel was able to leave no room for a doubt, that every good soldier should have enough decency to just get themselves killed. - Very tragic. Well then, if the corruptive influence can't be found there, we need to go further. - He sighed. - Kurt and Ksenia Ward.

Dave's heart missed a beat.

_ No _

\- All things considered - Watcher continued - I'm forced to believe that they're to blame for this chaotic tendencies, that their children have to struggle with now… and which can spread to others - He frowned at the screen, tapped on the keyboard. - Not on purpose, of course, alas…

_ not mom and dad, you fucker _

\- Alas, some mistake was made. - Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. - We will fight to minimize the damage, of course, but since they are still in the reproductive age, there's a possibility of them passing on these tendencies to yet another child. In this circumstance, I believe, there may be a need for a re-education…

\- Sir.

\- Yes, private? - That look from above the glasses.

_ He's trying to find something dirty on Zach, anything, just to make him look bad, to fuel his sick ideas... _

With his hands tightened on the armrests, whit his throat clencher and dry, Dave made his choice.

\- I support everything I've said about Lieutenant Zachariah today. But there's something else you should know about him.

He had to give Viktor Watcher something. Nothing from yesterday, nothing he got to know because Zach trusted him - but, Shadow forgive, he had to.

_ Mom and dad won't survive the camp. _

\- I'm listening.

\- It's when we were on a mission on Aurora territory. Lieutenant led us to their dig site, even if there was nothing about it in our orders. We've met enemy mancers there.

\- You, that is…?

\- The two of us and private Jeffrey Hunter. We fought, but they just yield, so… - he shrugged. - Jeffrey got hurt pretty bad and has been sent back to the rover. But Zach with one of the mancers went deeper into the dome, and… I think he took something from there. A tablet.

_ I'm sorry. _

Stealing colonial relics was a lucrative business - people were willing to pay a fortune for a well-preserved piece of Earthian tech. The temptation must be strong; especially if you're aware of the relic's true value. Especially if you're not allowed to make money in any legal way.

_ I'm sorry, Zach. I'm so sorry. _

Dave felt dirty.

\- Oh… that's bad. That's very, very bad indeed, private. - There was a spark in Watcher's eyes, an excitement as if he's found something that he looked for so long.

And at this moment Dave realized, that he made a mistake. That Colonel didn't really care about the danger of the Arena or any sexual scandal that could or couldn't happen - but this? The internal affairs of the mancers? This was the good stuff. Who knows what he's going to do with this intel?

_ Fuck. _

Dave wanted to punch something.

_ Here I am - David Ward, the snitch. _

\- See, private… - Viktor Watcher sent him a smile. - ...this kind of excellent, fruitful cooperation is all I need to know, that I severely misjudged your family, for what I am deeply sorry. Please, accept my sincere apologies. - He nodded. - Nothing like an upstanding citizen to keep evil at bay, as they say.

_ Oh fuck you. Just let me go. I got what you wanted from me. _

\- Of course - Colonel continued - fighting the evil is a constant struggle, and you just proved to be the most excellent aid… So I'll want to make a humble proposal. Of course, nothing that would collide with your duties. - The look from above the glasses. - But, as you see for yourself, your commander can't be left unsupervised. We need someone to watch him.

Dave looked at Viktor, in these worried, wicked eyes.

_ I will see you fall, you fucker. Tomorrow or a lifetime from now, I'll be there.  _

But today, he didn't have a choice.

\- If you say so, sir.

\- Excellent!

_ We laughed together and fought together. With him by my side, I felt alive. _

It was a good story. A hopeful story.

But now it was time to face reality.

Dave looked at his hands.

\- Where do I sign?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will be better, I promise!!! But we have to go through it.  
> And honestly, fuck Viktor :/


	7. Aftermath

\- You're avoiding me, Dave.

A part of Dave hoped that Zach will just drop the topic; assume, that what happens at Curiosity's, stays at Curiosity's. But the tiny voice in his head had no trouble with calling things by their name.

_You just don't want to confront him. You coward._

\- I…

\- And I respect that - followed up. There was a worry on Zach's face, a flash of sadness. - But please, I need to know… if I pressured you into doing anything you didn't want…

\- What? No! - _Shadows, is this how it looks like?_ \- No, I mean… it was fun. The best time I had in months. - He raised his hands, seeing Zach's relieved expression. _He cares, Shadows help me, he really cares._ \- I mean it, Zach.

\- I'm… glad to hear it.

Dave could just switch back to his old attitude, say something snappy and mean, drive Zach away. It would be easy, effective. The mancer really shouldn't be close, shouldn't feel comfortable around him. The less Dave knew, the less he could pass forward.

_You are not trustworthy, Dave._

But he decided that Zach didn't deserve that. They should keep things civil.

_as long as possible_

\- But, you know… - Dave continued - I don't think we should make a habit out of that, right?

\- Of course. I understand. - Zach looked down, trying to swallow his disappointment. - Apologies for making you uncomfortable.

_It's not your fault._

\- You didn't...

\- I'm your commander, the responsibility is mine. It won't happen again.

\- Just… stick to your people, Mancer, ok? And I'll stick to mine.

\- My people. Of course. - His lips quirked in a smile, which didn't reach his eyes. - I will keep my distance. Thank you, David.

  


***

  


The next time they were on a mission, Zachariah was leading the way, quiet, focused, his hand touching walls as they walked by, and Dave knew that he's counting corners. And they got lost, and found again. And Dave didn't say a word.

Because that evening had never happened.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't planned, but then I realized it would be weird to just jump forward with the plot, without acknowledging that if after you had sex, your buddy tries to avoid you, it makes you jump to really troubling conclusions. So, here's that.


	8. Two lessons

There was nowhere to run.

Dave was wondering later if Zach would let her go, wasn't it for the soldiers running towards them from the other side of the platform. If there was a chance for Bulgakova to have the same luck that Boris once had.

But now, the meeting with Boris seemed like a lifetime ago, and Bulgakova ran out of luck.

\- I won't survive the camp, Officer, please…

Her hand, reaching out, pleading. Zach's hand closing around it, dark leather and copper wiring. Then brightness.

Bulgakova folded in half, like a marionette whose strings were cut off.

\- Holy… - Jeff gasped, wide-eyed.

Dave tried to not think about the mantis.

Zach took two steps back, shaking. His right hand was twitching; he held it with his left, pulled closer to his face as if inspecting a malfunctioning machine.

\- Killed after she resisted arrest - he said, rather to himself than to his soldiers. He seemed absent, his face pale and blank.

Dave knew this face and he knew this voice. He was there before.

_ It's the first time for him. His first kill. Poor guy. _

He would touch his shoulder, weren't it for blue crackles of lightning still dancing on Zach's uniform, making him glow.

Dave remembered -  _ hands searching for a gun, bared teeth, that surprised sigh when his wrench crushed her skull; her eyes huge and hazed. The hand that will forever remain clutched on her holster, the pistol she found too late. _

In his nightmares, she was always quicker than him. She was always the first one to strike.

Boris was there for him, then.

_ It gets easier, in time; it's the truth civilians don't want to think about. But the first time is always ugly. _

_ I should be here for him, now. _

But when he started to see again - the platform, the body, Jeff covering his mouth - Zach wasn't there.

\- Zach!

The mancer stopped, heading back to the city already, but he didn't turn around.

\- That's Lieutenant to you, soldier.

Dave winced as if hit. He forgot his place again.

But fuck Zach, and fuck his sulks. He shouldn't be alone, not now.

_ prone to sudden emotional outbursts… _

Watcher's words crawled into his thoughts like bugs, dark and venomous. Dave hated it. He knew, that they were there all along. But he refused to listen.

_ He's not a threat. _

_ You saw what he did to that woman? _

He didn't even know what was he supposed to say; that they all go through this at some point? That it's just how it is?

He simply said:

\- I'm sorry.

Mancer turned around, tall, his hands behind his back, his expression closed; unfamiliar.

\- She was dead the moment we found her - he said calmly. - I just let her escape the pain.

Dave wondered if he really believed it.

\- Yeah, ASC would kill her… eventually.

\- It's the only thing he's never taught me. But well, he's not here anymore. - The mancer dismissed him with a gesture. - Carry on, soldier. You two have the body to secure.

\- Yes, sir.

Clenching his teeth, Dave turned back to his squadmate, still frozen in place. He looked around; the train station guards were close. They should have some stretcher. Somebody has to clean up this mess, transport the corpse to the med unit by the Barracks… at least until ASC swarm in like carrion insects.

\- You heard Lieutenant, rookie - he barked. He was angry. - Help me move her.

\- She's just... Oh fuck, the smell... - Jeff's face was as green as the shithole he came from. - I think I'm going to puke.

\- You're fuckin' useless, Jeff, you know that?

He wanted to punch something.

Waiting for the other soldiers to come, Dave watched as Zachariah disappeared in the crowd.

The last time, Dave was with him. Now he wondered if this time around Zach will also try to hide among people, try to find someone resembling a friend, even if for one night. Or maybe he knew better.

Maybe he learned more than one lesson today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me for so long! I really appreciate it.  
> As always, :* for Discord folk, for letting me throw large amounts of Angst at them. Thank you! <3


	9. Our fathers

 

 

\- Now, Dave, don't you have something to say?

 

***

\- I'm exhausted. - The mancer yawned. He looked tired. - Want to go and grab some drink, soldier?  
The last few days were exhausting; Dave was feeling it deep in his bones. He thought that the service will be easier in the city, without the waiting, without all-night-long marches, without missiles whizzing over their heads. Turns out, it was just a different brand of the same shit, with half of their assignments designed specifically to fuck with them. Who would have thought, that herding mutants back to work demands the presence of a technomancer? Dave wasn't blaming him for being tired.  
But he might blame him for being forgetful.  
\- Not sure I'm supposed to, Lieutenant…  
\- You are if I say so. Let's go.  
So it wasn't a request. A part of Dave was glad.  
Neither of them said a word as they walked through the Exchange, to the checkpoint (the faces of the soldiers blank, disinterested), down to the Slums. Left, then ahead, then right, left, left, right, ahead, down through the stairs. They knew the way well.  
Curiosity's.  
Of - fuckin' - course.  
It was as busy as ever, a crowd of drunken people, colourful, cheerful, careless. Music, too loud for Dave's taste. The menu hanging just above the bar; drinks were cheap but strong. Some working boy wearing a fishnet top eyed him up and down and decided that he's not worthy of the effort.  
Nothing changed.  
Mancer left him at the entrance, then made his way to the bar. The bartender acknowledged him with a nod.  
Looking around, Dave couldn't shake the feeling of… inadequacy. He shouldn't be here. For the first time; bright-light interior of Curiosity's seemed unwelcoming. It shouldn't have happened; it was his place. Now he felt like an intruder.  
He tried to think about the things he wanted to say. He had rehearsed this scene over and over again, all possible scenarios and outcomes. He knew it'll happen eventually. He was ready.  
He had nothing.  
\- Let's find a place. - Zachariah was back, two shot glasses in one hand, a bottle in the other. He smirked, noticing Dave's gaze. - Nothing as outrageous as previously, I'm on a tighter budget. But vodka is vodka, no? Come on.  
Their old table was taken; not like it could make things better, but Dave was grateful for small blessings. They found another one, upstairs, with a nice view of the bar. Soon people at the nearby tables drifted away like frightened jellyfishes.  
The mancers had that effect on people.  
They sat down. Zachariah put one glass in front of him, one in front of Dave. Opened the bottle, poured to the top; the curved upper surface of the liquor glistened in the colourful lights.  
Seeing as it trembled in the rhythm of the music, Dave wondered if he would even be able to lift his drink up. He got a feeling that his hands may start shaking.  
Zachariah leaned back in his chair.  
\- Now, Dave... don't you have something to say?  
_Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck everything._  
Dave grabbed his shot, swallowed it all with a gulp; he spilt it, of course, felt the wetness on his fingers, heard the tapping of the liquid on his trousers, but _fuck it_ , because vodka slid down his tongue, burned his throat, his stomach. Fuck everything.  
He couldn't take it anymore.  
He put the glass on the table, in the pool of spilt alcohol.  
\- I sold you to ASC.  
Ha was prepared for anger, but Zach didn't even flinch.  
\- I thought it was Jeff - he said, his voice barely above a whisper. - I hoped it was Jeff.  
\- Disappointed? Me too.  
\- It doesn't matter.  
Mancer reached for one of the satchels at his belt, pulled a small silver case, took out a cigarette. He lit it up with an electric arch jumping between his fingers.  
\- You picked up a new bad habit - Dave noticed.  
\- It's not new.  
They were sitting in silence for a moment, Dave hunched in his chair, Zachariah observing him, thoughtful, unmoving.  
\- What have you told them? - The mancer asked eventually, wisps of smoke escaping from his mouth. - When they'll finally come for me, I want to be ready.  
_That's fair. They will._  
Dave looked back at him.  
\- Everything.  
Zachariah listened calmly, as Dave recounted the information ASC wanted to know. Nothing from that night, nothing spoken in confidence; but after that - everything.  
Where he went, with whom he spoke. The giant mutant he took from the pen. Young Merchant arguing with black-haired Mancer. Bulgakova. The tablet.  
He watched as emotions slowly faded on Zachariah's face.  
He could say that he knew what Viktor Watcher was looking for and that he won't find it in Dave's reports. That Zachariah who Dave knew was compassionate and kind, even to the mutants. That he respected his subordinates, that he took a time to help that poor Goodsman girl. But Dave knew better; at the end, Watcher will twist it to look like whatever he wanted. For him, the mercy showed mutants will be a sign of revolutionary tendencies; punishing the soldiers who abused the girl - lowering corporation's defence.  
He wanted to say that he's sorry. That he was forced to do this; they threatened his parents.  
But even in his head, it sounded weak, pathetic. What does it matter now? They all had things that were more important to them than anything. The problem was, Zach wasn't one of these things. Not this time.  
And it doesn't really matter what Dave had to choose between - the choice was his and he chose to betray him. Would it make any difference for Bulgakova, if Zach would kill her driven not by pity, but by pure malice, would she somehow end up more dead? It was too late to wonder about the reasons. All that was left for them was to face the consequences.  
He was ready.  
But the judgement wasn't coming.  
The mancer was just sitting there, leaned back, as comfortable as the chair allowed; elbows on armrests, one hand close to his face. He was smoking slowly, deliberately, as if it was the sole thing worthy of his attention.  
_Ok then. Sure. Maybe he needs a moment to take it all._  
But when after a while Zachariah, looking at him without saying a word, lit up another cig, Dave began to lose his patience.  
_What kind of power-play bullshit is this? Are you waiting for me to explain myself, bring up all the "whys" so you can inspect them, see if you agree?_ You want _to know what I sold you for? How long it took for Viktor Watcher to break me?_  
_It wasn't long. It wasn't very long, mancer._  
Nobody invited him to treat himself, but Dave didn't care. He grabbed the glass standing in front of Zachariah, emptied it in a single gulp, spilling vodka on his trousers. The nerves were making him rude; he knew that.  
The mancer just quirked his brow.  
Dave's hands clenched into fists.  
_Don't make that face at me, don't try to wear that bullshit stoic expression, I've seen you crying with laughter, I've seen you gasping for air, don't try this shit on me._  
\- Did you really think this shit won't happen, mancer? - he barked. - That you're somehow above this all, that the rules don't apply to you? That you can just stroll around, doing all that crazy shit, and ASC won't notice? But you couldn't just keep your head down, like we all do, oh no; you wanted to be a hero…  
Bang!  
Zach smacked the table with the open hand, knocking over the glasses. Startled, Dave jumped on his seat.  
Frozen, he watched as one of the glasses rolled over the edge of the table and shattered on the floor. Other patrons were very deliberately ignoring their presence.  
_Of_ course _they are; it's a Rogues' den, half of them are working for his fuckin' uncle. That's what this is about? Not only a nostalgic, guilt-tripping_ setup, _but a trap?_  
_He could kill me on the spot, and nobody would bat an eye. He sure as hell knows, how._  
_Hell, perhaps I deserve it._  
Zach stubbed the cig on the table, in the pool of spilt vodka.  
\- They warned me, my masters… - He spoke. - But I was sure I know better, as every young idiot I thought that they just didn't try hard enough. That if I prove that I care about you, people, you'll care 'bout me in return. But at the end of the day, we all became our fathers, don't we? - His eyes narrowed and Dave rather felt than understand that there was a threat behind these words. He felt the hair on the back of his neck standing up. - But I think… not today.  
Zach smiled. Then he sighed, deeply as after a long fight.  
\- Go. - He looked Dave in the eyes. - Run. Get away from here.  
Dave blinked.  
\- Are you…  
\- I'll tell them you're dead. They probably won't believe me tho. You have to run.  
\- Zach…  
\- Just go.  
Dave stood up, holding the edge of the table. His legs threatened to give up under him any moment. He didn't realize he was so tense.  
He wasn't expecting being allowed to leave. He wasn't ready.  
_Where will I go?_  
He was dizzy.  
He leaned over the table.  
\- I don't want to leave you here - he said, wondering if he's not pushing his luck. - Come with me  
\- Don't worry; I'm used to being left behind. - A sound escaped Zach's mouth, more a sigh than a chuckle. - I won't do anything stupid this time, I promise.  
\- It's not safe for you.  
\- No, Dave, it is not. But my family is here; without them, where would I go? No, soldier; I'll stick to my people.  
Dave felt tears in his eyes. He couldn't say if it's anger.  
\- You just had to throw it in my face, right?  
\- Yeah, you just were a really shitty friend, so forgive me, but I'll be as spiteful as I please. - His lips twitched in a smirk. - I wish you luck. But now you have to leave.  
\- If you'll ever make it out of here… find me, Zach. And good luck to you too  
\- Go.  
Dave's legs didn't give up. He nearly ran down the stairs. Other customers paid him no attention; without the mancer's company, without his armour, he was just another face in the crowd.  
At the entrance, Dave looked back one last time. Zach was just sitting there, unmoving; eyes fixed in the distance, another cig in his hand; smoke swirls in pulsing, colourful light.  
_Hang in there._  
There was nothing he could do for him now. He stepped outside.  
Run away - sure, gladly, but where? And how? He could try on foot, like Boris, if he was on his own; that wasn't the option. Then…  
There wasn't much time; they'll start looking for him soon. Supposing that he wasn't watched already…  
He was.  
\- Mister David Ward? - Came up from behind him. - A message from Anton Rogue.  
He fought back, but the attackers were professionals; a heavy punch in the solar plexus squeezed the air out of his lungs, a kick under his knee threw him off-balance. They put a bag on his head, hurled him on the ground. Then the beating started.  
\- Jebany kapuś.  
\- The place for rats is under the boot, pal.  
\- That's what you get for bein' a fuckin' snitch.  
Dave just curled up, trying to cover his head, waiting for the kicking to stop.  
Finally, it did.  
He was grabbed by the front of his shirt, lifted up.  
\- Listen, you fuckin' squealer: you go straight to the tunnels, understand? To the freight zone, where the sandsails are docking. You need me to cut a map on your dick? - Dave grunted in response, which apparently has been considered as "yes". - Good, 'cos I'm a really shitty draftsman. Find Fiorello there. Bribe him to let you in. You were given enough serum to pay for the ride straight to his momma's undies, so unless you spend it all already like a moron, you'll be fine. Are you a moron, Ward?  
\- Fuck… you - he barked. It was hard to breathe.  
The kick he earned in return was rather pro forma.  
\- Good! The boss counts on never seeing you again, Ward, so don't blow it. Now fuck off.  
They vanished as quietly as they appeared. When Dave took the bag off, he was alone. Sore, bruised and bloodied… but alive. His nose was definitely broken, blood was pouring on his chin, but eyes and teeth were probably fine. There was no time for closer examination now.  
He didn't know if it was a punishment, or something as close to friendly advice as Anton gets. Hell, he probably deserved worse than this.  
Dave didn't want to push his luck.  
Limping, he headed to his parent's home. Seeing him like this will probably stop them from asking too many questions. There was not much to pack for the journey. Too bad he has no time to say goodbye to the folks at the Barracks; even to Jeff. The rookie wouldn't understand anyway. Too bad.  
Wherever the Fiorello's caravan was going, it has to be a better place than here. It has to.  
His life was spared twice today. He probably didn't deserve it. But he'll be damned if he was going to waste this chance.  
Something in his life has to turn up good for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are - the last chapter this year! You know that it's 9 months since I started to write this thing? Crazy.  
> Thank all of you for sticking with me for so long!  
> (And to any of my old readers - if you think that writing 'kudos' in a comment will be silly and I won't be happy as hell, knowing that you're still here with me, then you are deadly wrong :D
> 
> As always, all the love for the Discord folk. You're awesome. <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am, writing ff in english... How that happened.  
> Anyway, a lot of this, especially dealing with the Abundance inner workings, is my headcanon. I just have a lot of thoughts about this soviet Russia in space thing. 
> 
> Many kudos to the amazing folks at Technomancer Discord, for being constant source of inspiration :*


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